some ramblings and rantings

Forgiven To Forgive

2011-10-10T02:30:00.002-05:00

Fr. John Monbourquetter in his bestselling book published by ST PAULS, How To Forgive, wrote: “If you want to be happy for a moment, then seek revenge. If you want to be happy for a lifetime, then grant forgiveness.” He followed it up by explaining the four possibilities and consequences if we do not forgive.

First, we perpetuate the grief suffered within ourselves and in others.

When we feel assaulted or violated, we tend to mimic our offender. Any predisposition to hostility and to domination of other risks being transmitted from generation to generation through families and cultures. Only forgiveness can break the chain reaction.

Second, we live with constant resentment.

Resentment is a form of disguised anger that festers around a badly healed wound. Its negative effects includes paranoia and it is the origin of psychosomatic illnesses like cancer, arthritis, arteriosclerosis, multiple sclerosis, cardiovascular diseases and diabetes.

Third, we remain fixated in the past.

People who will not and cannot forgive have trouble living in the now. Unforgiveness paralyzes life; memories of the past only increase old pain; the future is blocked and there are no new projects or new relationships.

Fourth, we seek revenge.

The instinct for revenge blinds anyone who gives in to it. It only leads to an endless cycle of violence similar to Mafia vendettas and rido or clan among Muslims.

In our Gospel [Mt 21-35, 24 September 2011, cf The Jerusalem Bible or the NRSV Catholic Edition Bible], Jesus confronts Peter with the truth that the spirit of forgiveness really knows no boundaries. Jesus then proceeds to tell the parable of the Unforgiving Servant wherein a king shows mercy to his servant by cancelling entirely his huge debt [10,000 talents] even if the original request was only an extension of patience and time to pay the debt.

How large an amount was 10,000 talents? The exchange rate then was 1 talent = 6,000 denarii. Taking note that a denarius was a day’s normal wage, the poor fellow owed something like 60,000,000 denarii!

In today’s standards, using the rate of PhP 426 [plus COLA] as the minimum take home pay per day, the total debt would be more than a staggering PhP 25.5 billion. Indeed , the 100 denarii [Php 42,000] that another servant owed to the unmerciful servant was a mere pittance. The final result: the king imposes the former sentence to the cruel servant and even adding to it. Before, he, his family, and his possessions were only going to be sold; but now, he is to be handed over the “torturers.” Failure to forgive a brother will bring severe punishment!

We are all God’s debtors [cf Romans 3:23]. There parable teaches us that the kingdom of heaven is to consist of people who are both forgiven and forgiving, who have both mercy and are merciful. ”For the judgement is merciless to one who has not shown mercy; mercy triumphs over judgement” [cf James 2:13].

- Fr. Cris Robert Cellan, SSP

carpe diem... ü

The Real Score

2011-08-14T08:59:00.001-05:00

Since May 2011, I have been attending the Makati Feast at AIM in Benavidez St., every Thursday and at Makati Square every Sunday.

This week a new series called “The Real Score: 3 Points about the Greatest Power on Planet Earth 1 Corinthians 13:13 But the Greatest of These is Love” begins.

Point 1: Patience

Patience comes from a deep trust in God’s love. Impatience comes from our desire to control. We have an area of control and area of concern, our area of control is a small part of our area of control.

Say for example your bedroom, what happens in your bedroom is within your control and it withing your concern. But when you go out, that’s a different story. You experience traffic on the way to school or to work, it’s your concern but you have no control over it. Don’t get angry… breathe…

If things do not go your way, live with it. Make allowances for each other’s fault – Colossians 13:13. Every person is brought up differently, your differences does not make you less of a person or a bad person. It’s culture and it makes you unique.

There are three things we can do to overcome impatience.

Step 1: Stop

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desire” - James 1:19-20

Step 2: Look

Look for God in every situation, “We know that all things work for good of those who love God – Romans 8:28”.

Look at the brighter side. Your biggest problems can be your biggest blessings. Your trials can become your source of strength.

Step 3: Listen

Children do not listen to anger; Children listens to actions.

Listen; don’t get angry, the deeper reason of your desire to be in control is your FEAR of becoming Worthless.

How do we overcome our fear?

Know how God sees you. He sees you for who you really are

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” - 1 John 4:18

God has your best interest. God’s love will solve our problems.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. – 1 Corinthians 13:13

Love is patient, that’s the real score.

to be continued…

carpe diem... ü

Writer's Block

2011-07-13T04:23:00.001-05:00

According to Wikipedia…

“Writer’s block is a condition, primarily associated with writing as a profession, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work. The condition varies widely in intensity. It can be trivial, a temporary difficulty in dealing with the task at hand. At the other extreme, some “blocked” writers have been unable to work for years on end, and some have even abandoned their careers. It can manifest as the affected writer viewing their work as inferior or unsuitable, when in fact it could be the opposite.”

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I am not a writer, but I can usually come up with a blog when I want to. For the past year, I’ve been trying to write but I couldn’t. I’ll start typing and I’ll end up erasing the it. Looking back on that time what I was trying to write was about my father’s death and what I have learned and discovered about him during his wake. Rediscovering and being reintroduced to my father who then has passed and talking about it is much more difficult than I thought it would be.

Showing vulnerability in my blog scared me. I was afraid to admit that I may have not loved my father the way he did to me and I was so scared to admit he loved me and I took it for granted.

Some months after my father’s death I saw an old beggar being escorted by a waiter to one of their tables so he could eat the food given to him as alms by a passerby. I was affronted by what I saw because I was asking myself had my father been alive would he have ended like that, would I have let that happen because I refused to care. It again reminded me that I was not the son I am supposed to be. I was so affected by this that I wanted to have a session with PilgrimJaunt but then again I decided not to because I embarrassed.

Last night, I was asked by one of my church friends to write a summary of this Sunday’s talk and I hesitated. How am I supposed to write about God if I can barely update my blog even if I had time. I felt blocked because I don’t think I have fully forgiven myself, maybe I am not spiritually ready. I said before going home last night. Maybe it’s about time that I write from the heart and not be scared. Maybe God has called me to forgive myself and write about moving mountains. Maybe I was blocked so that when I come back to blogging it’s about a positive thought and to be an instrument of inspiration and blessing from the ever faithful, loving and forgiving Lord…

carpe diem... ü

recent thoughts...

2009-08-18T23:59:00.001-05:00

I honestly believe that none of us can predict the future. For some reason though, we do know what to expect in the coming days, even just a tiny bit of it. Maybe it is because we know what turns out from some of the things we do. The product of our actions huh; you plant a seed and it grows. However, we really can’t tell the outcome of every single thing we do. We just expect it, because of some familiar patterns. But what if doesn’t turn out the way we want? ~~~~

Personally, I am scared that I do not know what to expect. I have realized that there is something about big changes that frightens me. I have read somewhere that many does not really like change because it makes them veer away from their routine. Again patterns, as if there is formula in everything we do, a grand design to maintain and it gives out the desired effect. ~~~~

Change frightens me only because am scared for my own comfort. I hate it when I do not know that to expect. I hate being confused, lost and in the dark and not being in the know. I get into an internal state of panic, because I like laying out what I want to do. Usually, the changes in my life are drastic and something that I never see coming. ~~~~

This time though, the change that came is something that I foresaw, but ignored. Now I am in another state panic because I don’t know how things are going to unfold. This change though opens another door for me. For months now there is an activity that I so wanted to do but couldn’t. The inevitable change is the catalyst that opened a window of opportunity for me to take on another task that my routine hinders me to do. ~~~

Come to think about it, while writing this, am not that worried anymore. It does not mean that I like the change still.

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I’ve been imagining things lately; maybe daydreaming is the better term. And the thing that crosses my mind overwhelms me. ~~~~

Sometimes, there are things you would rather happen, words you would have wanted to say, but you couldn’t. Because of this you resort to just imagining it. Is that even helpful, therapeutic?~~~~

If imagining scenarios are helpful or therapeutic, does that include having imaginary friends? For me though, as long as one can distinguish real people from those characters they just created, am totally fine with knowing a person who has an imaginary friend. I just hope that this person does not start any conversation with his/her imaginary friend in front of me… that would really freaky.~~~~

My boss told me earlier today that having imaginary friends is normal at a certain stage. So aside from not being able to distinguish reality from imagination, when is this not normal? Just asking… ~~~~

As per Wikipedia.Org; “Imaginary friends may exist for the child into adolescence and sometimes adulthood.” It functions as tutelary and especially for children it helps them hone their conversational skills because they get to talk more freely with the “imaginary friend” that the real peers and family I guess, sorry mothers. ~~~~

The imaginary friends also exist in the same world the creator of it lives in only with a slight alternate reality. This ‘created world’ depicts how the child sees world and perceives people, it could be the same for those who retained this to adulthood. ~~~~

Now, I’m asking myself, did I write this down to justify my having an ‘imaginary friend’. ~~~~

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I am big fan of Marvel and DC comics. Both comics introduced us to the most popular Superheroes and Villains in Fantasy entertainment. DC Comics gave us the heroes Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and my personal favourite the Kyle Rayner Green Lantern. They also introduced villains such as, Doomsday, Joker and Lex Luthor. Marvel Comics, has its share of popular characters, like Captain America , Spiderman and X-Men that we know collectively and individually. We also know Marvel Villains such as Apocalypse, Magneto, Green Goblin and many more. ~~~~

What fascinates me about both comics is aside from the powers and abilities of the characters are the Alternate Timelines, Pocket Universe and Alternate Realities. Though both comics used different terms to coins these phenomenon or just for description, like Marvel is to Mutant and DC is to Metahuman. Marvel uses Earth-616, Earth-295 and DC uses Earth One, Earth Two, to distinguish the alternate realities and timelines. ~~~~

If things like this would exist, isn’t really convenient if you could just live in the alternate timeline or alternate reality that suits your preference? For some of the characters in the comics, it isn’t so. ~~~~

Rachel Summers, from an alternate future, which Marvel now calls ‘Days of the Future Past’, called such because these are supposed futures that can not happen because of the changes made in the present time. So back to Rachel Summers, in ‘Days of the Future Past’ she happens to be the first born of Scott Summers and Jean Grey, or more popularly known as Cyclops and Phoenix . She was devastated to know that she does not exist in present time and that Jean does not have kid with Scott and much worse, the eldest Summers kid of that generation is Nathan Summers, who happens to be Scott’s kid with Madelyne Pryor, a Jean Grey clone. ~~~~

So I guess let’s just be satisfied with the single reality and timeline that we live in. This is the part, when someone says, “Yes, we should live life the fullest!” Or “We can only walk this earth once”. Being able to manipulate time and reality proved to be really complicated for the characters in the comics, so what more in reality? ~~~~

As the song from The Hills go, And this is my beautiful life, as hard as it gets I know it still amazing to be alive! ~~~~

carpe diem... ü

Why I have not been blogging...

2009-05-25T03:59:00.000-05:00

1.> There’s really nothing to say. I don’t want to blabber bout showbiz stuff which is the only thing that breaks my routine. 2.> Actually, I do ponder all by myself and I wanted to be at peace with myself before I do some sharing. 3.> Yesterday, I was thinking what would happen to me if I grow grey old. Do I have children by that time and what do they have to say about me? 4.> I was thinking of adopting but not now yet. I want to be really stable with my job so I can have just enough to raise a kid to a person. I should have my own place then. 5.> Cookie and Archie Concert was a total blast and I love it. I love them both. Gawd, now am listening to their albums every morning before I go to work. 6.> Seconds… Hours… So Many Day… No Boundaries by Kara Dioguardi do fit either Adam or Kris. But I like the song nonetheless. And I’m glad that Kris won. I do not discount Adam, he’s really talented, but it’s just not his time. 7.> I realize that the last few bullets have nothing to do with the title. 8.> Am totally enjoying my new job. It’s a little tedious and tiring and it takes so much of my time. Not that I’m complaining. I need the job and I like that I have it. 9.> The truth is, at the beginning of this year I wanted to be detached with everything that was distracting me and breaking my focus with my job. I wanted be detached with things that got be so occupied last year. Yes, showbiz people included. 10.> I want to be free from any negativity. I want to stop hating, so am starting to be at peace with myself.

xoxo

carpe diem... ü

JC Tiuseco ULTIMATE CHALLENGE

2009-03-12T20:45:00.000-05:00

For tickets and inquiries, contact Jonessa at 09277156536/09089812592...

Special Guest si MS. KATRINA HALILI

kung di niyo po mapapanood...

at least WATCH IT:)

random rambles...

2009-02-23T19:19:00.000-05:00

Living in anger and hate is not worth living especially if the loathing is towards the people you live with and those who love you. You will find it hard to trust and your social life will also be unhealthy. However, you also try to find happiness and comfort from others. Why not from those who loves you?

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I received a quote saying that people don’t really change. It’s their role in your life that changes. I looked back and pondered, has any of the people I know play different roles in my life? Yeah, maybe... There are new characters with new roles too, some taking the roles of some older characters in my life. Some roles though are irreplaceable.

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Recently, I was chatting with a new friend who’s a little pissed over some hating going on. He’s been hearing some bashing on a common friend. I personally do not mind. Dissing, bashing, hating and the like; I pity these kind of people. I remember a talk show saying deep inside these haters is lonely people looking for appreciation and recognition. They make themselves feel good about who they are by hating on others. These people should love themselves more instead if seeing the bad in others.

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I cannot recall who told me about Us/We making our own circumstances to make life better. My life is not perfect but I try told hold up and take things upon myself. There are plenty of things that happened to me and been done to me. I am guilty of some stuff too… and I have to suck it in…

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Being happy is for me a state of mind and you make yourself happy by finding way to put yourself in that state. There are so many things to be thankful for and be happy about.

Epiphany...

2009-02-02T13:30:00.001-05:00

Epiphany, as defined by http://www.dictionary.com is a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. Have you ever had your own manifestation of truth? Here's a story of man who almost died in his sleep. He story was how he almost journeyed to afterlife or actually an alternate reality. Let's name the man Odin, for more than half of his life, he was living in anger, insecurity, regret and envy. He hated his life too much that he only eases himself form his anger by thinking alternate realities he can rather live by. What kind of life he's rather have, where he lives, the people he know, his ethnicity, social status, anything that's different from who he really is. Does he hate who he is too much? Why can't he put up with his life? Where does all this anger and insecurity come from? What does he long for? Basically, just does not accept his life and he is unsatisfied. As he grew older, the pain and void continued to grow, his anger became sadness and emptiness and he sought happiness by surrounding by people, new friends and with the worldly, mundane and superficial things. Until he got so depressed and reached his breaking point. See what happened to him is simple, if a person does not have true happiness in his life and just feeds him with superficial happiness; if you take away that source of happiness he breaks, because he can't find it within himself. Odin, found himself devastated and restless. He forced himself to sleep and his heart screaming his need for a slack, a vacation, a break from all his hangs up and angst. In his sleep, he saw flashes of color, like lasers and pictures of all his memories, even those that he does not recall. He saw his life, the people he knows. He started perspiring and his body froze. Then a figure of a man like a hologram lay beside him and said, "Ok, I will give the life that you want." Suddenly another flash of memories where being shown to him, his alternate reality, he wanted it to stop. Then the hologram said "This is what the angels wrote that you want." This was when he realized that his body was being lifted and above his chest was like a vacuum of air pulling his soul out of it. Things happened really fast, part of him wanted it go on and let the change happen, but was he really going to get the life he was asking for? Or was he going to die? He hesitated, should he go through it. Can he leave all the people he knew all his life for a new one he is going to start, will they still know him? Will he still know them? Do they even exist in the new reality he is going to live in? He called on the greatest power he knows that exist, he called on the great Cosmic Being, and he called on God. He was not ready, he wanted it to stop. He called on HIM really hard and then his eyes opened. He was in tears and he was sweaty. He realized that solution to his problem is not dying or being somebody else. And then he was sorry, he was sorry he despaired, sorry of his dissatisfaction. He became thankful he is alive and that he has a chance to be pull his self together and be better. That morning he was chipper, animated and truly happy. He shared his experience to people just to let them know that can truly be happy by being thankful to life they are given. It was truly an epiphany… Be happy! Live life! You are enough and you are worthy. carpe diem... ü

Shifting Sands… Change of Tides...

2009-01-25T12:52:00.001-05:00

I believe that there are things you cannot decide on doing abruptly; especially if it almost became a routine or part of your system. Back in 2007, I started to be very supportive of the entertainment industry and got to know some artists and attend some very showbiz events. It became so routinely that I barely have time for my laundry or to rest on my days off from work, it almost became excessive and there are instances that I had to file for vacation leaves. Come 2008, I decided to keep it down to a minimum and just choose which events I attend to; I also lessened my communication with my artist friends. I did miss these people but you know I felt that I had to do it for myself. I felt that I might have gotten obsessed by it that I got too involved and emotionally attached to fanaticism. I started comparing them verbally and maybe even went to far when I think I slightly meddled with their lives and it almost blew out of proportion. So held up for a while and became a little out of reach but reachable. As 2008 progressed, I focused more on my job and thought of giving the whole entertainment thing a rest, be detached. That was one of my New Year’s Resolutions, earlier today I also thought of not communicating with any of them or people related to them at all, unless they start the conversation. I was almost at it as 2008 was about to end 2009 entered just me, work and home. The first 10 days of January juggled up everything. I have a friend whose been asking me to join her in supporting some newbie. A model turned to impromptu everything, at first I was hesitant so I did not respond and decided not to respond. I got another message and I told myself that this would be my last. I probed a little, I wanted to know what was in for me, her answer convince and I went. So I met the athlete turned model, turned reality TV winner, now host and actor and I got interested, so interested, so that week was just about him. I was so interested that I also visited the set of his first acting job. It was so meant to be as the artist he was paired with is a friend I haven’t talked to in a while, she was so glad to see me and the feeling was the mutual. According to her, he asked if we were close and she said we’re friends, gawd!!! So there, since I documented his first acting stint, we had a reason to communicate aside from the photos, we also exchanged numbers. While enjoying the new acquaintance, an old friend experienced a tragic accident and witnessed a death of someone he loves. The news shocked me and I felt for my friend instantly. They are in mourning and also in shock and are now undergoing professional help to facilitate their recovery. I did not dare to pry for details; I just supported them and prayed for them. With that being said, just earlier today, I decided to hold back on communicating with all of them the artist friends, because I feel I might revert back to how I was in 2007. Although earlier too, I was in continuous chat with the new acquaintance. Now I am focusing my energy to things I am required to do. I am evaluating, reevaluating and I realized that I don’t really have to leave one for the other. I would have to learn how to balance and to put hierarchy on my priorities. carpe diem... ü

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T20:52:00.003-05:00

What a year it has been and many things have a happened and some of it I can’t even remember clearly. There are messed up relationships that were straightened out and many of lessons learned. I am finally settled with my job and am no longer for another place to move to. I am pleased with my working relationship with my boss and I found my few my closest friends in the company I am in now. In the office, I have three email buddies and we just thread on some work stuff or gossips. Actually, we are writing fiction and it’s like a fiction none of us knows what happens because each one responds the other. We have created the base story and characters and what happens next depends on who responds first. Some of our officemates find it really funny and some see it a smart thing. We have just concluded our first thread and we have now started the new one. Back in the middle of 07 I was so involved in Entertainment and I promised myself that on 08 I wouldn’t and I wasn’t in 2009 I don’t really know. I still got to attend some events and be involved with some. The old friends I have I still have and some relationships grew. I also constantly chat with a Chinese officemate whom I just chat to for some intellectual stimulation, for some reason I felt that he chats with me because he could not find anyone who can provide him the information he needs on various random stuff and maybe he just values my opinions. It sometimes takes me aback when he gets serious and opens up some personal stuff and the trust he gives me is guess something I don’t deserve that much. I chat with him because I like how he thinks and he makes me think. The JayR peeps, as I would like to call have grown though not in enormous numbers more people have been active and I am glad that this happens. Of course for me it’s not the same because Dikkie left for AR. Like I have a choice, but her leaving made me open my eyes in many other activities I can do and people I can be friends with. There are also upgrades in the house, almost everyone here has jobs and internet access new gadgets are bought and new members are introduced. I am particularly fond of one of my nephews whom we all call Iko, am not sure his full name, but I do know I’m one of his godfathers. Being the only baby in the house, he became part everyone daily lives. For me he also brought so much happiness and positive energy in the house, one of which is love. Cousin RJ also brought a new addition to the family when he got married this December 2008. We welcome Marie in the family one of the nicer persons I’ve met. During his wedding, what left of the relatives here in Manila got a chance to commune and catch up. I’m glad to meet Basti, Heidi’s son with Nathan and Madeleine’s children, Jash whom I’ve met when he was very young and his younger sister Janna. There is so much to look forward to this 2009 and I am excited. carpe diem... ü

Twilight: The Movie

2008-11-07T21:13:00.002-05:00

Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Steward in the cover of Entertainment Weekly for the promo of Twilight the movie. I saw the trailer of the film and there are some lines and scense that I don't recall being said in the book. So I read it again and tried to check some interviews in YouTube and I was right. I do not feel bad about it, I understand that its for the cinematic effect. The Cullens. I could not find a full cast photo, sorry. From the left: Emmet Cullen-Kellan Lutz-, Rosalie Hale-Nikki Reed-, Emse Cullen-Elizabeth Reaser-, Edward Cullen-Robert Pattinson-, Dr. Carlisle-Peter Facinelli-, Alice Cullen-Ashley Greene-, Jasper Hale-Jackson Rathbone- Amongst all the posters, this was my favorite. carpe diem... ü

what's going on?

2008-08-22T15:02:00.006-05:00

I have to admit, I have been occupied lately with plenty of thing and I let it take most of my time…

Despite the busy schedule I try my best to read and be aware of what goes on around.

So far, here is some of the news I got…

Rafael Nadal is now the number one tennis player in the world after besting Roger Federer, whose tennis records is still one of the most impressive. If that does not sound impressive enough, Rafael has also won the French Open, Wimbledon, and the Olympic Gold. Rafael is in the cover of the latest issue of New York Magazine.

David Beckham has the best abs according to In Touch Weekly, below is the list of their Top 10:

10. Matthew McConaughey

9. Zac Efron

8. Brody Jenner

7. Gavin Rossdale

6. Ryan Sutter

5. Shemar Moore

4. Hugh Jackman

3. Mario Lopez

2. Robert Buckley

1. David Beckham

Michael Phelps is on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Michael boast eight gold medals from the Olympics… some bling he has…

That’s actually all for now….

carpe diem... ü

the long overdue ramblings...

2008-08-16T15:15:00.013-05:00

It’s been a while, yet again since my last entry. There’s just so much I want to say and its gets piled up and then I get lazy.

Here’s one, I’ve been checking out some of my photos through the years and I have this “then and now” photo with JayR; Different clothes and date taken, but the exact same pose, but a different angle.

There’s also this Bench Blackout Fashion show that I attended for free. I was granted free entry by a person who does not even know me. Of course, I asked JayR, if he can get me in but let this photo below tell you what happened. No offense to him, he tried his best and I appreciate it.

So, how was Bench Blackout? It’s fine, I wasn’t crazy about it, and I think Bench Fever is better. According to JayR it was more organized though. Check out this backstage photo, cool right?

I also followed the recent season of American Idol like I always do, and now more people became followers because it was recently shown in QTV another GMA Network channel. Aside from that, another Filipino got in the final twelve, Ramiele Malubay. Although she left early in the competition, the shows following did not wane. An obvious “Archie VS Cookie” war between the fans of show was apparent. The final two shares two things, musicality and first name; David Cook and David Archuleta, both very gifted singers.

David Cook obviously reminds AI fans of Daughtry and Bo Bice, but maybe more of Daughtry because of his recent success and continuous noise he is making in the music scene. I remember Chris Daughtry because during the start of the show Simon wasn’t really a fan of either of them and eventually liked them. Bo Bice too, because both David and Bo became grand finalist, Bo Bice, to very successful season 4 winner Carrie Underwood and Cookie along Archie, where David Cook emerged as the season 7 winner.

Like season 6, a song writing contest was held along side the competition and the winning song will be sang by the new American Idol. For season 7, the winning song is “Time of My Life”. Unlike, “A Moment Like This”, “Do I Make You Proud”, “I Believe” and last season’s “This Is My Now”, the arrangement of this song does not sound like the whole my-moment-of-glory song. However, the song boasts of a very meaningful lyrics and an easy to sing along melody.

David Cook has received rave reviews like being the most original and the only one ready to make record. He won and I rooted for him.

Animosity, Beef, Bickering, Fights and Quarrels; Tell you what; I now believe in the saying “Time heals all wounds”. It may not apply to all and it does depend on the situation. My experience tells me, it works. One was really short, miscommunication and birthday resolves, need not to divulge details. Another was a due to some lousy power struggle that should have been struggled and fussed about and again a party solves it. Jayson, it’s nice to be friends with you again, Alls well that ends well, as the saying goes.

Speaking of friends, Dikkie is kinda like my best friend already, in three years we’ve know each other we did a hell of a lot thing together. She was surely a person I can turn to for almost anything: Just someone to talk to and listen, vocabulary, grammar check, just the stupid things, church, movie, slightly shopping, eating out and many others.

Dikkie left for Arkansas last August 7, 2008, but before she left, she was able to watch SOP for the last time. She was always bugging me to take her there and well that was her chance. After SOP was snack in Pinoydon in Podium Mall, with Te, one of our friednds . I totally recommend the place. It is in the top floor of the mall near the theater. I tried their "Aligue Pasta" and I so loved it. Dikkie will be taking her graduate course on Forest Biometrics in Arkansas and she bested applicants from around the globe for the scholarship offered in the University. Way to go Dick!

I got to watch SOP the week after, for more details, you can view this link: http://thirstytrooper.blogspot.com I would like to add to that entry that Mart Escudero is indeed a genuine soul. I do not regret ever meeting him. I may have not seen him for some time and maybe I won’t see him for a while but the friendship remains and wavers.

Next in my tab is Richard Gutierrez, yes that Gutierrez boy. I’ve been friend with one of his supporters who also took the below photo. Ann. I thank you so much. All I can say about him is that he was gracious and very modest.

Oh gawd, I remember, I got really hooked with this AVATAR: The Last Airbender. I am not a big Nickelodeon fan, but I do have a Nickelodeon shirt. Anyway, Avatar is their only offering that I followed. The show is set in an Asian-influenced world of martial arts and elemental manipulation; the series follows the adventures of Aang, the new Avatar and the last Airbender. The Avatar has the power to master all four elements, Air, Water, Earth and Fire. Aang was born and Airbender and ergo manipulates AIR.

You can check this website for their episodes. Click on this link: AVATAR.

Looking at my pictures through the years I don't only see that I've aged, I also see changes in the way I carry myself and even the spirit I have. I may have repeated some shirts or have new clothes on I see that I have always been me. In the years that passed Dikkie said that I am starting to look better. Gaining weight, looking happier, satisfied, I don't really know. I see this things differently know I just take chances. So far, I have no regrets in the risk I take, there's not that much I've taken anyway. hehe

Hmmmmm… there really isn’t left for me to say anymore…

carpe diem... ü

happy birthday to me...

2008-06-04T09:43:00.002-05:00

Many of my friends like working at night because they get to save more money... not with me... I dunno... but I spend more when I work at night. For the rest of this week I'll be working on the night shift and I really hate it. I like sleeping at night, I was never the nocturnal type. Although for this week, its fine. It's my birthday week and I get to evade people asking me to party. It was not my habit to celebrate my birthday, it's not some special holiday that you need to bring your crew to the table and eat some decent meal. I did get a lot of greeting though, which I so appreciate. My godmother sent me a message at 12AM, my mom called at 8am and I received IM's, email and the like. There is so much more to learn and to experience. I may not grow in height but at least there is still a well being and personality to enrich. I am looking forward for more friends, relationships to have. More things to discover... just anything to enrich me and make me a better person... carpe diem... ü

just random thoughts again...

2008-05-20T23:27:00.003-05:00

i realized i haven't really posted for a long time... a month actually... but i do have a lot in mind... so here goes.... -Time heals all wounds, I never really believed in that, for the longest time, based on experience. Looking back, there was a time that it was true to me and I just did not realized it. I went through a lot of pain and disappointment that made me cold and indifferent which makes not believe in the whole forgive and forget and time heals all wounds. Until last month, see I got through i really tangled situation during the last quarter of 2007 which I was not aware i am in. So there some relationships that are dear to me where stained and things blew out of proportion, it looks like there's no fixing it. I was wrong, now I know how it is to be forgiven and how to forgive. It feels great, time does heal all wounds. -hmmm.... here... blogs i recommend: Chris Tiu's blog and Lea Salonga's blog. I hope they don't mind me posting their blogs, it's public anyway. Another blog I want to share is Thirstytrooper. Let's start with Chris Tiu, I am not a basketball fan, well I was, this was around the 1996 to 1997. But that's just it, I was not a follower of the campus leagues like NCAA or UAAP. I started getting fond of Chris Tiu, when I first saw him in Chikka Minute in 24oras. He was soft-spoken and looks smart. So when I learned that he has a blog, I read it. It was simple and very honest, I feel like I know how Chris' thinks just by reading his blog. It was just his thoughts and nothing fancy. Now, Lea Salonga's blog is right of the bat, brilliant, really brilliant! She shares her thoughts, opinions and you do learn from her. She also responds to comments that you leave. I have always followed Lea's career, I bought her album and I try my very best to watch her shows. I'm looking forward for Cinderalla. I have always known that she's really intelligent and it would really be great to see how she writes and learn from it. Lea, writes about her experiences, what she goes through and simply what she thinks of things, just random thoughts. Thirstytrooper, is a relatively new friend. He has been real, honest, sincere and funny. He never pretended to somebody else and he never gets in anyone's way. He never speaks ill of people and best of all, he does not lie. He is very contented with what he has and he is happy with simple things that he has. His blog is about... well maybe just read it. -I move to a new department, yet again. This time, it's less the pressure from what I used to have in all my years of working. I hope it all goes well. -I couldn't think of anything else to write... carpe diem... ü

JayR @ Philippine Hip Hop Awards

2008-04-04T17:56:00.000-05:00

The Philippine Hip Hop Awards is on April 12, lets VOTE for JayR as the BEST RNB ARTIST for this Year

http://www.philippinehiphopawards.page.tl/ONLINE-VOTING.htm

@ Wave 89.1 Anniversary Party

2008-03-31T23:24:00.000-05:00

what's new? what's different?

Well, for the very first time I was not chatting, texting or calling Dikkie or Tin regarding the event. I was not even waiting for them to ask how, when and where to meet up.

It resulted to something good though, I could not remember if it was Monday or Tuesday or was it Thursday? Hmmm... anyway, I do know its around 4-6pm, Te messaged me asking me if we could meet up. Since I am not that familiar of Eastwood, I said yes.

So we chatted, I told her that I was going because I wanted to watch Thor perform, the invite I received does not list JayR as one of the performers, but its in his schedule, so whatever, I am going anyway.

DESTINATION: Eastwood City... gawd, I was like stupid asking for directions when I realized I do know the place.

Another new and different thing, Gica! After a year, one month and a half we saw each other again. She also contacted me in meeting up before going to the party effect. We met up in KFC near the venue and ate. Wondering where Dikkie and Tin is? Tin could not go, due to personal reason. Dikkie was in the venue the whole time, more details as we progress.

Karl, Te and Gica: The event was on a Friday, so I knew it was gonna be traffic, and it was, in KFC, we ate and catch up. I so missed these gurls. Obviously, after the meal we went to the venue which was like a somersault away from the venue . JayR has not arrived yet but JMuna is there obviously.

Dikkie spotted us from the stage, I have no idea who was performing but anyway, we just enjoyed the moment. So Dikkie ushered us backstage, yes she did! . I saw Thor and Marcus around and I suddenly heard sweet voice, saying "How are you?", it was Amber and I responded with "hey! how are you?", then beso... a little catching up then we, continued backstage photo ops and for me atleast a spoonful of talking.

Another surprise to me was Jai, no, he's no actor, I just saw him and I didn't expect to see him, it was the same for him too. And obviously, we would just talk bout Jennica and Mart. hehehe.

Finally, JayR arrived with Deejei, who by the way is going to have her own set of gigs... watch out for it. Before going to the party, I was just looking forward to watching the performances, I ended up talking the whole night.

Hmmm... let me try to recall my conversations...
1.> Thor and his new album and Te being his neighbor in Wakwak
2.> Amber and her hosting experience in Wowoweeee
3.> DJ Eri, I forgot the whole thing, I do remember Dikkie asking what he was going to sing, I barely heard what Gica's was, DJ Anne, happy birthday to her and the performance of Kitty Girls
4.> Marcus, about collaborating with JayR
5.> JayR, ofcourse... we talked about CenterStage, Karylle's business... why we talked about? its a venue for you know... no details... I do not want to preempt anything.
6.> Jay Durias, the upcoming album and what the band went through, is going through and SouthBorder's big surprise, I already know but I do not want to spoil it, a little something for the fans of the band, there is not bad blood between Jay, Brix, Luke, Vince and Duncan. People move on, change priorities and grow, in the end its all about the music.
7.> Luke Mejares, his album and his new single.

PERFORMANCES:
Amber, sang "Back To You", I remember Tin saying she likes this song, I like it and I'm glad she sang it, the next song I could not remember... well anyway after that, Thor came onstage and they sang "Spend My Life". Thor, sang "Everytime", too bad Te was no longer there... another artist sang after Thor, then it was JayR's turn. He sang "Time Will Reveal", "Always and Forever" and "No Else Comes Close".

South Border, concluded that party with a Pinoy Love Song Medley and the Richard Guiterriez fantaserye OSTs, i.e Asa and Ikaw Nga, Rainbow and their old hits.

I could not remember the sequence of all the events, but I enjoyed anyway... and as promised to Carissa, as she have previously posted she got to talk to JayR over the phone...

and I'd like to end the story there....

till the next...
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

moving forward....

2008-01-01T23:34:00.000-05:00

2007 was a handfull... it was dynamic, full of memories, experiences, new people met, some left, new relationships made, new job and a little screw ups too.

here comes 2008, there is so much i want to do, achieve and experience. a year would seem enough huh, but actually it doesn't. that is why we have this "live life to the fullest".

this year a met new people that changed the course of life, it was very different from what i was veering into. this year ended happy but a little messed up too. no am not blaming anyone for it. things happen for a reason and it was just frustrating how things developed.

i want to start the year right. and how exactly to i plan to do that? first is, imma save more money. second it imma fix my relationship with everyone i can fixed it with. third, i am not gonna get involved too much with anyone in all facets of it. thing is i dunno how to start, say asking for forgiveness when you know what you did is grave.

there are two things i can do though, just let things be and be unmindful or stress on it and get it resolved. on the other hand i can just address it calmly. why am i mopping around anyway? i know things will come around. there are people who experience some more drama worth things in there life, a friend's mother died and the whole family of my dad's younger brother had a car accident this new year, not that i'm affected but i know that this is a more messed up situation than mine. i'd like to move forward, taking only the lessons i learned as i push through, i want to set things straight... i know it's gonna be hard... but i have to pull myself together.

carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

back to the movies

2007-10-04T23:33:00.000-05:00

DECEMBER BOYS: Drama, Romance, Familiy

After this summer, nothing would be the same.

Based on the classic Michael Noonan novel, DECEMBER BOYS is the story of four orphan teenagers growing up behind the closed doors of a Catholic convent in outback Australia during the 1960s. As the boys watch younger kids get adopted by loving families, they begin to realize that as they get older, their turn may never come. When the convent sends the boys to visit the seaside one summer, they finally have something to look forward to.

While at the seaside, the boys meet a young couple unable to have children, who would make the perfect parents. The eldest of the boys, Maps, finds himself drawn to Lucy, a beautiful girl from down the coast. Competing to be the most adoptable, the rest of the boys, Sparks, Misty and Spit, severely test their friendships as long gestating feelings of rejection explode to the surface.

The bonds of friendship eventually overcome the rivalries, sealing forever the strong ties that bind the December boys as they learn the real meaning behind friendship, family and love.

This movie is directed by Rod Hardy, screenplay by Marc Rosenberg and narrated by Max Cullen who also played adult Misty.

Daniel Radcliffe, Teresa Palmer, James Fraser, Lee Cormie and Christian Byers.

I got off from work early and I thought of catching a movie. I knew that December Boys was on so I went for it. All I knew was they played orphans and they were supposed to be Australians. I never thought there was some drama to it. The story hit me hard and I was in tears. The storyline and how it was presented was really heavy. Daniel proven that the he could do better than just being the boy who lived. He has also shot this movie prior to Harry Potter 4 and 5. I am not sure though was it was only shown now. The role of Maps, as we may already know is different from Harry. Aside from the fact that Maps is not magical the role is much more mature. Maps is the eldest orphan amongst the four "december boys", I am not saying why they were called that, and was also protective of his younger friends. All four of them was to experience life far from the nuns and outside the convent.

To make sudden changes in life is difficult it may seem fun at first but an abrupt turn can throw of the hook. While watching the movie I've seen how eager orphans would want to a get a life, something that they can say their own. Not that I did not know that living without parents or a family is hard, but not to have one and to long for one to take you in is painful. It also became a dilemma and caused conflict in their friendship when one has to be chosen. How do you move on? How do we hold up? These could have been their questions and maybe these are our questions too when we go through changes and losses in our lives.

I am not an orphan and neither would I choose to live a life like that. I do have some things that I have to go through with. My life is not perfect, but I do not fall in desperation. Watching this movie made me realize that my problems have other angles that I can look in too and it can make things seem not really that bad.

It's great to live life and be happy... to see things positively and to know that there is something good waiting.
carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

Billy Crawford: It's Time

2007-09-28T07:17:00.000-05:00

The much awaited concert of Pinoy international superstar Billy Crawford entitled It’s Time is scheduled on October 6, 2007, Saturday at the Araneta Coliseum. Billy will be joined by Karylle, Kris Lawrence, Jay-R and the Movers who were recently chosen from the reality TV competition Move. The concert will be directed by Gabriel Hoareau, who promised Billy’s fans his first concert in Manila will be packed with high energy numbers.

Show starts at 8:00 pm - onwards.

Ticket Details:

Patron VIP (Reserved Seating) 3675

Patron (Reserved Seating) 3150

Lower Box (Reserved Seating) 2625

Upper Box A (Reserved Seating) 1575

Upper Box B (Reserved Seating) 840

Gen. Admission (Free Seating) 315

Tickets available at http://www.ticketnet.com.ph

carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

catching up... looking back...

2007-09-08T10:06:00.000-05:00
i couldn't think of anything to write about and maybe that's the reason why i barely update my blogs. i've been thingking if i actually lost my gift of writing or i really did have it. i've been so down lately with things that's been happening to me. its small things that builds up and gradually swallows me. and then i received and email from a person that i haven't heard from for a long time... alexie. i never forgot who she was, she's my best friend, the one real best friend that i have. she put up to as much as she can take until she got tired herself. her email came at the right time, a cosmic power animated her shed me some light. my prayer life waned and weakened she reminded me of my goal to satisfy my spiritual goals. she came in time before my spirituality shattered. how did i and alexie meet? we met in college, i was auditioning to join our campus theater, she was there and she conducted the auditions. we didn't click at first i thought she was this conceited air-head ass bitch trying hard to play dumb blonde. with all these years i've known her i can boldly say she isn't. alexie was perfect choice for a friend, she was honest, loyal, smart and open-minded. we shared the same interest and passion and many other things. i didn't know she had talents until i heard her sing in one of our college events. she was known to be the campus mariah carey. aside from the fact that she idolizes mariah, she does sound like her, yes even the whistle registers. singing was not the only thing she was good at, she's also a writer and an actress. we shared the passion of cultivating and improving in these skills that we share until we have to part ways. i had to move on with my life and take on responsibilities, while she had to continue schooling and deal with the cruel circumstances of life. despite what we had to go through separately, we remained friends. we constantly text and update each other of just anything. alexie said we could just laugh at something without even defining it. funny cause even if we have not been seeing each other for a while we still have that connection. she sent me an email and was inviting me to catch up. i'd love to and maybe this time we can more things to talk about. after longs months of not seeing each other i want to know if we still have something in common. do we still have the same interest? can we still talk casually about anything. i have changed, she may have too... but i do miss her... carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

meeting a new friend in the net...

2007-09-08T07:19:00.000-05:00

i met christian through yahoo messenger... he's from romania and is very interested with filipinos... here's our conversation...

.............

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rodderick rodderick: hi there !
Andrew Cruz: yes?
rodderick rodderick: you are from philippines , right ?
Andrew Cruz: yes, why do you ask?
rodderick rodderick: i would like to know more about some things , and know them from a real filipino
rodderick rodderick: things like .. anting-anting, agimat , and such related stuff .
Andrew Cruz: where are you from?
rodderick rodderick: i practice martial arts and i heard about many weird things about talismans in your area .
rodderick rodderick: i'm from europe - Romania
Andrew Cruz: i see...
rodderick rodderick: a country near Black Sea
Andrew Cruz: i know
Andrew Cruz: why are you interested with those things you just mentioned
rodderick rodderick: i'm roman-catholic
rodderick rodderick: and from what i saw on the web ... many anting-anting are like a medal specific to catolicism
Andrew Cruz: i am roman catholic too
rodderick rodderick: well, i'm very happy to hear that
Andrew Cruz: are you referring to rosaries being used as necklaces by filipinos, its the current fashion now
rodderick rodderick: i'm interested in what is BEHIND those medals ...why they make you bulletproof and cuttproof
rodderick rodderick: no my friend I have a rope knotted rosary myself i'm wearing on my neck
Andrew Cruz: or maybe the scapulars that was actually popularized by the spaniards when they colonized our country some over 400 years ago
Andrew Cruz: oh those
Andrew Cruz: i believe those came from filipino fictions
rodderick rodderick: http://www.bakbakan.com/images/anting2.gif
Andrew Cruz: i see
rodderick rodderick: i heard that medals in conjunction with ORACION have a real power
Andrew Cruz: oracion is chanting
Andrew Cruz: of spell casting
rodderick rodderick: i see
Andrew Cruz: or spell casting
rodderick rodderick: interesting
rodderick rodderick: do you believe in anting-anting ?
Andrew Cruz: my dad used to have things like that, he even had a hankerchief that has weird images on it
rodderick rodderick: do you have suck thing ?
rodderick rodderick: ooooooo
rodderick rodderick: hmmm
rodderick rodderick: you know about Pekiti Tirsia ?
Andrew Cruz: one time he went home and saw bullet marks on that cloth he went to the person who gave that hankerchief to him and said that somebody was indeed trying to kill him
Andrew Cruz: this was some years back
rodderick rodderick: so there is real power
Andrew Cruz: there are anting antings that you have to swallow
rodderick rodderick:
Andrew Cruz: you get it out of your mouth if you have use for it anymore, many are being inherited
Andrew Cruz: the power they say depends on your faith
rodderick rodderick: i see
rodderick rodderick: do you know Leo T Gaje ?
rodderick rodderick: it's a great pinoy
rodderick rodderick: his son is Rommel Tortal
Andrew Cruz: not personally
rodderick rodderick: you heard about it maybe ....
rodderick rodderick: he has a handkerchief like your dad
rodderick rodderick: and a necklace with a stone like a human figure
rodderick rodderick: and there are psalms and other prayers
rodderick rodderick: ( on handkerchief)
Andrew Cruz: i see
Andrew Cruz: i don't use those stuff though
rodderick rodderick: he said that his necklace warns him if somebody wants to harm him
Andrew Cruz: do you get to talk to this person?
rodderick rodderick: unfortunatelly no !
rodderick rodderick: right now , as we speak .. i think there are 10.000 km between us
Andrew Cruz: oh he is
rodderick rodderick: some day i'd like to visit Cebu or Manila
Andrew Cruz: hit me up when you get to come here
rodderick rodderick: please look at this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXfZ9C9vJso
rodderick rodderick: in the second part , you'll see what i mean .
Andrew Cruz: why are you so interested in this things?
rodderick rodderick: i like martial arts , i like all things about spirituality also and i have a deep respect for pinoy people
rodderick rodderick: that's my oficial answer
Andrew Cruz: i thank for that
rodderick rodderick: no need to i see many wonderful things in you and your country
rodderick rodderick: such diversity of people
rodderick rodderick: many brave people
rodderick rodderick: i like to learn about such things.
rodderick rodderick: i like to see the creation of God everywhere
rodderick rodderick:
Andrew Cruz: oh
rodderick rodderick: and besides that ... in filipino islands is the birth place of very good made weapons
rodderick rodderick: i like weapons too
rodderick rodderick: bladed weapons i mean
Andrew Cruz: haha yeah
Andrew Cruz: true
rodderick rodderick: i was rised in the same way
rodderick rodderick: in a bladed culture
rodderick rodderick: maybe that's why i feel so related to filipino ppl
rodderick rodderick: there are very few like me in my country .. but we still are
rodderick rodderick: even in 2007
Andrew Cruz: same here
Andrew Cruz: for some reason there is something retained in the old culture
rodderick rodderick: absolutely
rodderick rodderick: to tell you about me ...i come from a family with a military heirloom
rodderick rodderick: all my forefathers up to 1700 were warriors, soldiers, army oficers
Andrew Cruz: interesting... i have not gotten your name yet
Andrew Cruz: im andrew
rodderick rodderick: very nice to meet you , i'm Christian
rodderick rodderick: i found your address in a blog list
Andrew Cruz: oh hi there christian
Andrew Cruz: i see... what blog is it?
rodderick rodderick: i needed a real filipino and i guess i had luck
rodderick rodderick: i dont remember
rodderick rodderick: blogspot i guess
Andrew Cruz: most likely
rodderick rodderick: a list from blogspot
Andrew Cruz: i do have a blogspot
rodderick rodderick: there it is
Andrew Cruz: do you have a blog too?
rodderick rodderick: i dont have because time is not my friend right now
Andrew Cruz: or a webpage, public profile
rodderick rodderick: i work many hours and i have too little spare time left
Andrew Cruz: too bad
rodderick rodderick: not because i work for state and publicity is not very good
rodderick rodderick: i have 32 y o
rodderick rodderick: caucasian
rodderick rodderick: green eyes
rodderick rodderick: 185 cm
rodderick rodderick: 90 kg
rodderick rodderick: i like to read
rodderick rodderick: to learn new things
rodderick rodderick: martial arts
rodderick rodderick: weapons
rodderick rodderick: music
Andrew Cruz: im asian... short, 10 years younger than you, tan, dark eyes... 5ft 6inches
rodderick rodderick: roman-catholic
rodderick rodderick: that's nice
Andrew Cruz: i like arts, literature and music
rodderick rodderick: well , very nice interests in our days
rodderick rodderick: too many young ppl like to get drunk
rodderick rodderick: and to inhale cocaine
rodderick rodderick: too bad
Andrew Cruz: i don't do that
Andrew Cruz: im guilty of some stuff too
Andrew Cruz: but not that bad really
Andrew Cruz: do you have a photo?
Christian rodderick: yeah
Andrew Cruz: i'd also want to travel
Christian rodderick: cool
Andrew Cruz: i want to go to greece and italy
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Christian rodderick: greece is very hot , only stone and sand
Christian rodderick: and besides that ...they have catolics
Andrew Cruz: there's so much culture though
Andrew Cruz: you've been there?
Christian rodderick: sorry ... HATE
Christian rodderick: yes
Andrew Cruz: its looks beautiful in pictures
Christian rodderick: in THEIR pictures
Andrew Cruz: is it really that bad?
Christian rodderick: a glass of water is 3 $
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Christian rodderick: if you dont buy it ... you'll have to drink it with sand and rust in it
Andrew Cruz: as in US $?
Christian rodderick: that's me
Christian rodderick: the black guy
Christian rodderick: yeah
Christian rodderick: 3 USD
Andrew Cruz: you mean the guy in black?
Christian rodderick: yeah that's me
Andrew Cruz: what kind of martial arts do you do?
Christian rodderick: filipino martial arts
Christian rodderick: inayan eskrima
Andrew Cruz: you mean arnis?
Christian rodderick: YES a kind of arnis
Andrew Cruz: that's very ethnic
Andrew Cruz: only our natives are good at that at this time
Christian rodderick: well ..could be ... and could be the difference between stayinn alive or be burried deep
Andrew Cruz: i agree
Christian rodderick: i like igorots
Christian rodderick: and negros
Andrew Cruz: i never got the chance to learn any martial arts
Christian rodderick: but i dont like because they eat dogs
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Andrew Cruz: i wanted to but i got too busy with writing
Christian rodderick: never say never and never is too late . i give you my word of honour .
Andrew Cruz: i have igorot blood
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Christian rodderick: REALLY ? that's great
Andrew Cruz: though pure igorots wouldn't want to be called that
Andrew Cruz: they felt labelled
Christian rodderick: i think there must pe PRIDE
Andrew Cruz: it is
Christian rodderick: they must be proud !
Andrew Cruz: i dont like eating dogs too
Christian rodderick: kinda primitive
Andrew Cruz: and its not very sanitary
Christian rodderick: but they are great warriors and even i love dogs , i can oversee that cuisine habit
Andrew Cruz: fierce... they still have tribals wars until this time
Christian rodderick: YES
Andrew Cruz: they were able to preserve their culture
Christian rodderick: i'd like to hear more about these
Christian rodderick: igorots , bontoc , great warriors
Andrew Cruz: there's so much to learn about them
Christian rodderick:
Andrew Cruz: bontocs are also igorots
Andrew Cruz: each tribe has their own thing
Andrew Cruz: it gets confusing sometimes
Christian rodderick: i heard that to minimize killings they fight with some wooden swords .. with small nails imbeded in them
Christian rodderick: to do damage but not kill
Christian rodderick: garote is called
Christian rodderick: or garrote
Andrew Cruz: yes garote
Christian rodderick:
Christian rodderick:
Christian rodderick: i love it
Andrew Cruz: they also have this ritual called kanyao
Christian rodderick: what for ?
Andrew Cruz: its like witchcraft of sorts
Christian rodderick: oh .. i see
Christian rodderick: they are christians ? or not ?
Andrew Cruz: they inflict harm by channelling pain by obtaining some personal belongings of they're prey
Andrew Cruz: most are pagans
Andrew Cruz: some are being converted
Christian rodderick: oh God
Andrew Cruz: these people live in the mountains
Christian rodderick: yes mountain people
Andrew Cruz: they refused to join the lowlanders atleast in getting urbanized and updating some changes in technology
Christian rodderick: they have crude weapons
Christian rodderick: those head axes
Andrew Cruz: my maternal familiy were one of the very few who moved in the city
Christian rodderick: head hunters
Andrew Cruz: yes and other things like sumpak
Christian rodderick: maaaan your lineage is great
Andrew Cruz: bolo
Christian rodderick: sumpak ? a blowgun ?
Andrew Cruz: yes
Christian rodderick: bolo is like a machete
Christian rodderick:
Christian rodderick: man
Andrew Cruz: yes
Christian rodderick: i have to go to eat
Andrew Cruz: same here
Christian rodderick: i'm starving
Andrew Cruz: famished
Christian rodderick: what's ur time ?
Andrew Cruz: 12midnight
Andrew Cruz: you?
Christian rodderick: here is 19:30
Christian rodderick: when will u be online ?
Andrew Cruz: around this time tomorrow
Christian rodderick: Great
Andrew Cruz: catch you then...
Christian rodderick: then i'll talk to you tomorrow
Andrew Cruz: nice meeting you christian
Christian rodderick: yeah , it was REally Nice talkinn to you
Andrew Cruz: thanks
Christian rodderick:
Christian rodderick: well, good apetite my friend , and good night
Andrew Cruz: bye
Christian rodderick: iven i'm not visible when you are ON gimme a buzz
Christian rodderick: bye pal
rodderick rodderick has canceled the transfer of 1 file.
IMG_1831.jpg (1070 KB)

Andrew Cruz: bye

Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

2007-08-23T10:37:00.000-05:00
I came across while going through my emails... People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them. - -- George Bernard Shaw I believe that we can turn things around. We have a choice we can live the life we want to live. Its a matter of choice the whole mind over matter thing. I know that there is always something good to look forward to. carpe diem
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

a budding acting career? nah...

2007-08-16T10:16:00.000-05:00
i have not posted for a long time, only because its all angsty stuff to write or its too showbiz, or maybe i was not in the mood, but who cares huh?

this one though is something worth writing for me atleast.

for starters, i guess y'all already know how much of a supporter i am to JayR, i never thought i would be supporting another artist, Mart Escudero. you already know that too, right? with him though things were faster and has gone farther compaired to JayR. on second thought not really, with JayR its already deep, there plenty of thing we share already or was established. i just got closer with Motmot faster than with JayR, which really took time for me to be close to him, with Mot it was not even months to count.

at this time, i should say i am a more active Martian than a JayR_onliner. i am but i do make sure that i still provide kalbo the support i can give.

the blog is not about JayR or Mot. it is kinda related to Mot though... being this active Martian and Tiborxia team member, I get to hang out with him, his family, friends, watch his shows and rehearsals and even tapings.

if my schedule allows, i get to watch Mot tape Boys Next Door and chat with him during his breaks, i even get a chance to meet the other cast and befriend them.

last saturday though, was a special episode. Jennica Garcia, daughter of no less than Jean Garcia, was taping her first episode in BND, she now being raved for in her performance in Impostora as a love interest of Mot and also for her solo performance. i met her last month i never regret any bit of it.

reason number two is the location... Tagaytay!!! it was a good chance to unwind and have quick change of environment. im just getting tired of metro manila and Tagaytay is a quick escape that's very affordable than going to Baguio.

so where was i? yeah we went to Tagaytay and here is reason number three...

Around late evening during the taping, I was with Jennica and Rich by the poolside at Casablanca watching the rest of the taping. There was also a television set where the finals of Move and Popstar Kids was being aired, including the scenes in BND that was just taped that day. Then we heard some raptured noises, nah just kidding it was some of the staff looking for someone to pose as bartender in one scene. I was approached and asked who could do it and I pointed at Tiborxia who was beside Tito Jimbo, the staff looked back at me (after both Tivz and Tito Jimbo refused the offer) and said "Ikaw na lang..." I was like "WHAT!" I mean what was I being put up for? Anyway I didn't refuse, not that I want to or I didn't -- it was just abrupt that I couldn't react. So I went and was given instructions, then I heard someone yelled "Yun o!" and so I glanced and there was Boknoi teasing, I just scowled and made a face.

The scene was in the bar of the resthouse where I just gave Migs and Atom their cocktails, clean the table and I'm done. So I got dressed and stepped in the apple box. We rehearsed and then we finished the scene in two takes and that was it.

I wasn't aware that Tiborxia was taking photos of it and again I didn't react. Let's just say I was tired, lost and was not really myself. I looked at the pictures and just smiled and I thought to myself, this the first time I did it and it was it no less the the Starstruck 4 Ultimate Male winners, not bad for a first time. The scene is short, I doubt if anyone would even notice.

after that was a lot of teasing from the other cast who are my friends too, i didn't stop until the next day. i have a smile on my face remembering. it was fun and i will never forget this experience.

carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

remembering Lolo Pang ang Lola Mang

2007-07-05T02:33:00.000-05:00
I do not know what compelled me to write this. What I do know is that I miss them. Lola Mang was just buried yesterday and it was a very solemn event. I am lost of words now and I am having difficulty organizing my thoughts. Let me try my best. Maybe the question is how my grandparents were fondly called Lolo Pang and Lola Mang. From what I remember, it was from Papa and Mama. In my earliest recollection I was calling them that eversince I had my first my memory of them. Lolo died years ago and Lola just died last thursday. Two weeks ago, I told my parents that I have been dreaming of Lolo and he just pops out of my head very often. Even if I'm thinking of something else, Lolo just suddenly crosses my mind. Mama adviced me to pray for him. I grew up in with my parents and grandparents raising me up. I may not have a clear memory of all the significant accounts I had with my grandparents I have enough to make smile and appreciate them more. Lolo hates being idle, he always have his hands full. Since my school is far our house I remember that Mama usually wakes me up around 4:30am and around that time or even earlier Lolo is already up and is in this part of the house we call the bahaybahayan which is actually a stock room outside the house that has a balcony. Lolo sits there until Lola and Ritchie calls everyone to eat breakfast and then Lolo starts to work in backyard. On weekends I get the chance to wake up later and for some reason my grandfather know when I am up. He would call my fullname around thrice and I already know its time to get up to chat with him. We do that every morning, we talk about just anything. I remember that ny grandfather taught me my first song. Its this folk song "tayo na sa Antipolo". Lolo always work in the backyard, cuts the grass, fix the fence and everything is measured and calculated. He puts a mark on the part of the yard he's going to work on for the whole day. Then he takes his lunch and siesta. Lolo loves menudo with pickles. He buys or cooks that every sunday. After mass I know that I have a cotton candy to expect. And while eat my cotton candy, Lolo drinks his beer. He also eats balut before he sleeps or as his midnight snack. I became fond of books and novels because he tagged team with my Mom to make me a voracious reader. I grew up with a different taste in books but I would have not been interested at all if not for him. If he were still here right now he would have been first in the bookstore for the highest selling pocket books. Lolo likes documentaries, military or war novels. We still have with us and maybe I'll start reading his books. I saw how Lolo passed, and it was devastating to seem him leave and not be able to do anything. Nature calls to maintain the cycle, the balance and maybe it was that time he needs to heed to it. The cosmic power that structured everything. I was not ready to accept it, I denied the very sight that was his rest. I eventually accepted it and yes I was happy that he died peacefully. He is now in a better place. Lolo Pang is the strongest person I know. When he left nobody calls me karlandrew anymore. Lola Mang left us just this thursday. Its very saddening, in a way we saw it comming, her age and all. I don't want to go into details on how she passed just the fond memories of her. Lola's funeral was just this wednesday and Tita Carol gave a very emotional eulogy on her. What she said made Lola more special to me than ever. Tita said that Lola never complained, even if she's in strain, she'd even laugh about it. This brings me to what another cousin said "selfless" how many people do we know can we boldly label as "selfless"?. Lola and Lolo were also a picture of true filipino grandparent "consintidor" they give in to there grandchildren's whims. My mom told me sometime last year when we talked about Lolo that when I once threw tantrums he scolded her and said "...ibigay ang gusto!". An account I want to share of Lola being consintidor was when I was really young she kept this jar candies on top of her cabinet. My mom was a career woman and strongly reminded Lola not to give me any. That afternoon I was in Lola room alone staring at the jar. She came in and asked "did you finish your food?", "did you sleep after lunch?", "were you a good boy?" in which I all answered yes. She raised her hands and prayed in front on me and as if like magic the candies were in her hands. I realized when I grew older that all those time the candies where in her pockets hehe. Lola was the one who introduced me to "puto bungbong" one sunday after the mass I chose to go home with her and mama went ahead my cousin to the market. She asked me if wanted to it and I am so glad I did. Its one of my favorited now. Lola was also strong, when Lolo died she had some years to live and she pushed forward to live her life and carry the family. She became what I fondly referred her to Mama as the Grand Matriach of the Cruz clan. She continued supporting me and the rest of her children as the years went. She constantly gave advise, financial assistance and a lot of laughs. She may not be as headstrong as Lolo, she sufficed that as being motherly to the whole family. When she was stronger and could still talk clearly she entertained us in breakfast with stories of her experiences and just about anything nothing deep. Her experiences also taught us how to go through with life. Lola's physical strenght waned and then we knew that it was the her twilight. But Lola was still able to crack jokes and give some few laughs. Maybe we just not talking about it but we knew that anytime she was about to leave us. I did not have any picture of the family without her. I was not ready to say goodbye. When she finally left us I did not how to react, I was blank. The day she left I was in denial of the very thing I saw in front me. I turned my back and wanted the day to be normal, the whole week to be normal. It was just catching up on me. I could not do anything. I finally went to the wake and talked to Lola in her coffin. I told her how sorry I was, if I have wronged her, I told her how thankful I am for everything. I appreciate Lola for the life she lived. She is truly the Mother of Cruz clan. Lolo and Lola lived a very beautiful life and produced very beautiful children. We will move forward with our live with memories and lessons that we have learned from them. When people departs from the physical realm you'd realize no matter how long you grew with them, those years arent really enough to warm up with them. There is just so much more to know, to experience to learn, relationship to build and cultivate. May the Lord bless the Cruz clans with greater relationship, tighter ties, more love, more trust and a bright future to look forward to. Thank you Lolo Pang and Lola Mang for the life you lived, for the love you gave and the life you paved way to us. carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

a quote i want to share...

2007-07-05T02:31:00.000-05:00
“Power is not an institution, and not a structure; neither is it a certain strength we are endowed with; it is the name that one attributes to a complex strategical situation in a particular society.” Michel Foucault... carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

in defense of my mom...

2007-06-25T12:39:00.000-05:00

this is a long overdue blog. and i am glad that i took my time before i wrote or i could have written something very offensive. i felt compelled to write this because of recent events and other occurences that happened before 2006 ended that i just recently discovered. i am not gonna get into details of what those events are. but what i am really sore about is that i am being dragged into a belligerence that i am for no reason involved by person who also have nothing to do with the issue. this entry is aptly titled "in defense of my mom" because indeed it is. on the 14th of june i received a message in my friendster from a maternal relative. this relative was just passing a message from another maternal relative about a secret that i dont know. and the secret was about who my real mother is. how very convenient of this maternal relative, to know a secret that according to him nobody knows. mind you, this is not the first time i was told of that and like what i have said before i do not give a damn. the first time i was told of this was last year from a paternal relative who's just as sick as the person who asked her accomplice to pass the message. how pathetic of them, obviously this people need professional help. i remember when i was young the parents of my classmates back in grade school would ask me if my mom was my sister. that is how close our resemblance are. whether they are just buttering up my mother or if it was a sincere observation i don't care. i said this before in my friendster blog and i am saying it again, i don't care if Corazon Q. Cruz is my biological mother or not. so what if i was adopted? should i not be more thankful of her and also Saleh Rolando Cruz for taking me in? This people bashing my mother do not know what a real mother means. its not the biological relation anymore, Corazon Q. Cruz fulifilled her duty as a woman to raise a child, with that she became a mother. she imparted her wisdom that she gained from her experiences. she fed me and clothed me and brought me to school. nursed me when i am sick and still checks on me till now. the mere fact that she made me call her Mama was enough. stop bashing my mother! you won't get anything from it. now if this maternal relative do know who my bilogical mother is she can go ahead and tell to whomever she deems. she's up for an embarrassment, because i will never appreciate such violation she has given the person who have raised me let alone how my mother put up to all of her mulling and what have she. i am secure with who i came to know as my mother... and you can not make me come to accept another person. i apologize i am sticking to who i have now...
carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

birthday blog

2007-06-04T10:21:00.000-05:00

one thing i want people to know about me is that i don't and i never plan to celebrate my birthday. not that i'm not happy bout another year given to me but i feel that its just not worth it. sometimes though i think of what a party it would be like if do throw one. i thank the people who consistently greet me every year, my family, old friends and not so old friends. I'm also glad to hear greeting from people that i just met. jovelle one of my high school friends who's also a colleague even posted a birthday greeting in our department's bulletin board... so sweet. I'm still trying to get the ropes with my new job but i am all good. so those would be the people that i'll definitely invite. i went to mass first thing in the morning, i never miss my sunday obligation and birthday happened to fall on that day. one my cousins asked what my blow out was, i said none just the mass. my birthday is not a holiday nothing to celebrate about, only to thank for. I thanked God for another chance in life and I also plan to pamper myself. Pampering myself is not spending money to feed people. i've been going through a lot lately, i usually starts at this time of the year. which makes me remember a text from mai which says "Repeated experiences have one aim: to teach what you refuse to learn." She's right, maybe there are things i refuse to learn and unlearn. but i am changing i becoming a person i never thought i will be. i know that i'm wiser now and more sensitive but i am believe i'm still headstrong and indifferent. What I am trying to learn now is to balance my heart and mind. Yong is right I'm heartless and I don't really care of what people think or feel. Not the I go out the way to hurt people. I do things my way without any intentions of hurting others. If do offend anyone I'm sorry. I make mistakes and I admit and own up to it, but that does not make me a bad person. I have always been open to criticism, talk to me and tell me what you want me to address and I will straighten things out. june is also the time of the year i realize plenty of things. i've meet meeting new people every month and i am very excited to know them and be friends with them. although it really takes time for me to know that not all these people are potential friends. i have also realized that little by little there already a path that i have chosen to take. its up to me to make the journey fruitful and a positive learning experience. i will continue to make mistake because i am not perfect, the mistakes usually are the things that teaches you more lessons and make you a better person. i am not very wise but i continue to learn to grow, something i'll never get tired of. the road can lead me anywhere... whatever comes... bring it on... i believe in one cosmic power to turn things around...

carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

life so far...

2007-05-14T00:39:00.000-05:00
what have i been doin this may? this month started may 05 for me atleast. i once again watched the Survivor 6 show. no desiree was not there. the guests were Ogie Alcasid, Marky Cielo and Dennis Trillo. this time i went there for startstruck solely. klownz was packed that night which was really good for the show. however it was so obvious that the survivor 6 was exhausted, they were in Klownz Angeles the night before which explains much. i enjoyed the performances, even if it was almost the same with the last one i saw, alteast the guest varied. the next day, we went to the SOP taping live, it was taped at the Timog entrance of GMA. the sun was high and brightly shining, so imagine the scourge we had to endure. it was okay though. for the sake of living up to the title of being a fan... lols. i met nina, she mot's elder sister. that girl was a sweetheart she also patiently enjoyed the pain of being burned to death by sunlight for the same reason as ours. no she was not there to watch lil bro, she was tricked by her lil bro into watching because she was told that she's gonna see her favorite band live. monday i went to the wake of their granny... God bless her soul. enough said. thursday, i received the most surprising text of my life, nina invited me to take part of her debut. was she serious? not that its bad, i was so glad and touched. we barely know each other, so being invited to her debut was already big and sweet to be involved is another thing. she asked me if i could be one of the treasure bearers. im not into parties and i havent attended any debut in my life, so i have the slightest idea of what i as supposed to do but took anyway. gma, cavite is one of the farther places to commute to i almost thought im not gonna get there. good thing i was given a ride going to the debut and on the way home. it was really sweet of her to let me share moments like that they go through in their lives. its an experience that one shares to family and close friends. i was really touched. then after being touched with her text i panicked, i have no idea what stuff i can symbolize her for, alteast one that is appropriate considering her interest is not very debutant like. i also realized that my wardrobe is more of a wash and wear kind. i stormed the malls for a very out of the budget unplanned expense that i do not regret a single strand. friday, meeting place was in araneta coliseum parking area. the trip was nauseating and but that was just a product of my subconcious denial of my excitement. in the party i saw mot once more and met their mom suyen, eldest brother mike and the younger siblings urie and udin, cute kids. dig the ages, mike 19, nina 18, mot 17, urie 3 and udin 5 months, the gap is rather big huh? maybe mot thought he's the baby and the youngest till urie, well he's still the baby at least in their dad's eyes, hehe or maybe his thinking. and maybe nina thought she'd be the only girl till udin. the debut was not very organized but it was fine. sunday was the burial of their lola. i cant contain my envy and jealousy of that family's genuine closeness and close ties. they were also very warm and open. i wish more clans will that full of love. looking forward its gonna be a hell week at work or is it? hmm... wish me luck!
carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

just about anything...

2007-04-26T05:40:00.000-05:00

~I always wanted to be a writer, but I never get the right break to get in to the field I want or maybe I just did not ask. In a way I have the connections to pull so I can get in, but I have this feeling that at the back of my mind something tells me that I am not ready to be a writer. When I read some of my friends blogs or just books and periodicals and refer back to the way I write it makes me realize that I lack in substance, content and simply my construction and style is poor. Mheanne, recommended that I read "Strunk and White" and "Chicago Style of Writing", for a more educated method of wrting, if I remember correctly Strunk would the one that teaches scientific or technical writing and Chicago would on creative writing. Learning those would only be the blueprint of writing though, the content and ideas that you'll be communicating is the key reason why you're writing. I need to catch on my reading then, not that I do not read regularly, I do not read seriously. So what happens is I get I srtuggle for words and have difficulty expressing my thoughts. And I think I have major grammar issues, that's what I get in concentrating in oral english.
I was once told by my english instructor in college that I have what it takes to write, he always appreciates my papers. He says it's detailed and it's simple and precise. So it means that the content is there if its detailed. If I was told that the prose was simple and precise, it means that I choose my words well and its easy to understand. It is the inspiration to write that made my ideas flow and put the words in place? Then again I remember Jim Paredes saying in Men's Health Magazine that you can not always wait for inspiration, especially if you this for a living I believe so. He furthered that one needs to motivate himself. He's right, but the question how do you motivate yourself? Jim Paredes added that budding writers should pay attention, look around and observe. Then if put together my stocked knowledge, newly acquired ones and what I have just observed and later inferred, there goes my content. Now how I put that together is different story, it will follow... right?
~So what I am I waiting for, huh? I do not know really... Should I start making calls? I think I should.
~Earlier, I was in Rockwell and I bumped into Kija and her daughter Yso, looks liked they catched a movie and I forgot to asked what they watched. We catched up a little and I told that Zara will be presenting its Spring Collections in a few minutes, I asked her if she might want to check it out. I also told some of my HSBC friends of it. I been invting peeps to the Car Show in Metrowalk, that's in April 27, 28 and 29, 2007 and its for 100 pesos per head. JayR produced it so I felt obliged to invite people and promote it. What was I doing in Rockwell? I was having coffee and I was browsing through back issues of Men's Vogue and Guys Quarterly when I saw Kija. I went straight to Fully Booked after to check out some books and I saw Eldest the sequel to Eragon, The Bartimaeus Triloy and Septimus Heap serious... no I did not read all those. I read the first few chapters of Eldest and I plan to buy the Septimus Heap serious, actually since last year. Grrr... there are plenty of books I wanted to buy. I always end up with mags.
~Gawd, I realized I want to do a lot of things. Did I make up my mind yet? Lols, I do not even know! I am happy in doing just about anything I guess. I should get serious. See I know what to do and why can't I get myself to do it? A little help please!

carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

what loosing a hundred gave me...

2007-04-23T05:27:00.000-05:00
Clumsy me, I loaded a hundred on my Timezone card just to sing "Heart of Mine" at MusicZone at Glorietta2 just loose before I got to sing. While waiting I played Marvel vs Capcom to consume my free game and when it was my turn on the videoke room I found out that I lost the card, great just great! I did not bother buying another card, I went straight to Powerbooks to catch up on my reading. Its been a while since I read something seriously and this was the time I guess, for therapy for loosing that game card. I started with magazines, being a Ruffa Gutierrez fan I picked a copy of Yes where she was featured. I also got copies of OK and Kris Magazine. I am not a big Kris Aquino fan, as a matter of fact I am not a fan at all, but of all the magazines I read that afternoon it was her magazine that I enjoyed reading the most. It was indeed her most personal issue ever. The theme was about healing and I particularly remembered her saying that "...forgiveness is a process." I agree with her I does take time to forgive a person, let alone forget what was done. Although, as I have said several times in my previous blogs I do not believe in forgive and forget. I can forgive but not forget, its useless to forgive if you'll forget what was done to you, what did you forgive then? Its like letting go of the lessons to learn from it. Because of reading the latest issue of Kris Magazine I found the name of the artist of the song "Healing", its Deniece Williams and its the same girl who gave us "Let's Hear it From The Boy" from Footloose. Thanks to Kris Aquino I found the song and have downloaded it. Darn it, now I remembered that I promised Al that I'll download Stomp... I'll have to know the name of the artist to be able to download it. I still have books at home that I have to finish reading, being on break from being an employee made me a lot of things I was dying to do. Watch my dvd's and listen to my cd's, blog, shop, watch t.v. and catch up with friends and even patch things up with some people I had conflict with. I got to reflect more, pray more and also to simply relax. I have been so stressed that I've been very irritable not only on the phones but in real life. Working at night really makes a person moody. I am glad to be given a chance to rest. It's like a raincheck from working your ass out. Kris also quoted many bible passages to help her get through life and that I am not sharing... what I'll be sharing is the lyrics of "Healing". here goes... Healing Deniece Williams Now that we have gotten through One more fall I can just admit i've got it all Cause i do Cause i've got you We've crossed these battle lines too many times It passes through the heart But it never leaves a mark Cause your love just keeps on healing me No matter how i bruise If i just trust you Your love just keeps on healing me One more cure One more chance that wasn't there before In your arms No pain can harm the way im feeling Lord i know that your love is healing I've kicked around those lines in my head But i never listened to the words that you said See where it's lead Well i know i have it now Cause you showed me how And all i had to do Was just to keep my eyes on you Cause your love just keeps on healing me No matter how i bruise If i just trust you Your love just keeps on healing me One more cure One more chance that wasnt there before In your arms No pain can harm the way im feeling Lord i know that your love is healing (break) Cause your love just keeps on healing me No matter how i bruise If i just trust you Your love just keeps on healing me One more clue One more chance that wasnt there before In your arms No pain can harm the way im feeling Lord i know that your love is healing
Lyric contributed by
carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

motmot and dessirie joy...

2007-04-18T06:49:00.000-05:00
I went to Zirkoh Timog last sunday to watch the Pinoy Pop Superstar World Contenders sing, they were guest to the Starstruck Survivor 6 show. It was a chance for me to see Dessirie Joy sing live. I was just so interested to hear her live since she's JayR's niece and based from experience, JayR's friends and brood are music virtuosos. So before the show I tried my best to check on the show's repertoire and to my disappointment World Contenders were singing as a group. Solution to my problem was easy since that was a comedy bar and she's vying a spot for the grand finals I had the stand comedians and host to call her name and sing. Since she needs the exposure, she went on stage and sang All By Myself by Celine Dion and tell you what I was mesmerized by her rendition, she was incredible. I'd vote for her even if she's not JayR's niece. Im not posting picture of Dessirie because the shot I got was her belting, not very presentable. Another reason I went to Zirkoh was because I wanted to see the Survivor 6 again after the Final Judgement where they are more relaxed to perform since the competition is already over. I was seating beside the table of supporters of Mart Escudero who proudly calls themselves Martians. I looked around and saw the other Startruck Avengers around with their parents. It was fun to see that the camps were still existing. Camps meaning, the groups of supporters of the Starstruck peeps. That night was truly Mart's night aside from not screwing up his performances, his make-up reflected well with the lights and most of the audience were Martians. That night was also the night I was recruited to be a new member of the Martian group. Yep I joined a Fan Club, not a big deal considering I rooted for him and him alone, not that Aljur was not good or the other contestants, I just like Mart better. My initiation as member of the Martians was to sing two songs onstage... like I was scared, boasting aside singing is something I know I do well. After the show was like a small celebration for Mart's birthday, talk about perfect timing, I was the only newly recruited Martian then, as far as I know and I get to join the celebration. One thing I dont let pass when I get to events like this is the photo ops and establising connections. At this point I really can not say that I'm happy that I got to meet Mart or anything, I wasnt even starstrucked, not to discount him but I could not say that this is one stellar experience. He was just like a boy to me reaching and living his dreams. Yesterday, his fan group leader invited me to watch the taping of Maynila where Mart is staring. I was free so I went there, its fun watching people around there work. Mart was also fun to watch not just on how he did his role but also how he is behind the cameras. I could not help but laugh when I saw what he brought for the taping. Aside from his clothers were toys that you'd usually see with kids... like thingy with spring head on it with candies inside. Seriouslly, I think he should grow up... rotflmao! During that taping though I discovered more about the SS4 Survivor 6 though Aljur and Jewel were not there it was fine, Rich turned to be what I thought she is headstrong, serious, independent and was nice, I got to talk to her for a while and she was accommodating. Kris was also nice, she does not know me and I did not even talk to her but she gave me a tap when she was about to go home and said goodbye. Maybe what made her give that recognition was when group of fans came up to her and asked for a photo with her, I took the liberty to take the picture... hmm? Prince was the nicest and looked very shy to me, didn't know he was vain though.They packed up early and Mart has to ride a cab home so that ended the day. This Saturday though I'll be in GMA7 studios to watch the taping of PPS. Gawd... time for dinner... carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

yesterday

2007-04-11T21:45:00.000-05:00

i have not blogged for ages, not that i have nothing to write... there's really a lot of it but i just dunno how to start and how to say it. its easier when its spoken huh? not really. the difference though is when you have people around shaking the beans out of you it leaves you no choice. for the past few weeks i kept on saying that there's something seriously wrong with me. have i lost my marbles or what? but i realized that I just sleep... no I need a break as in major... big time!

anyway... last night i finally got to watch Premonition. I've planned my whole week on it! No not really, I was to meet up with Dikkie and I was 3 hours early, so I decided to watch a movie and luckily it was still showing in G4, so didnt waste time and myself a ticket. The bonus is aside from a good story is ofcourse Julian McMahon playing Sandra Bullock's husband. Sandra plays the role of Linda Hanson she has a beautiful house, a loving husband and two adorable daughters. A picture of perfect family, a perfect life or is it? Until the day she wakes up one morning to receive the devastating news that her husband Jim (Julian McMahon) has died in a car accident. Then she wakes up then next morning finding him alive and well, she assumes what she was so real to be a dream regardless of how vivid it felt. She soon realizes it was not a dream and it was all real when the same pattern of I-wake-up-Jim-is-dead-the-next-morning-he's-not-and-again-he-is, when she figured that this surreal circumstances is telling her what her life has become or thought it was, and this events where teaching her what or how she should live and what to fight for in life. Desperate to save her family, Linda begins a furious race against time and fate to try and preserve everything that she and Jim have built together. She may not been able to turn things around that much, but she was able to change her life to a better outcome. You better see the movie for yourself.

Aside from the movie and catching up Dikkie, I was just glad to have received a message yesterday from this job Im eyeing. I was invited to take an exam to be and Editorial Assistant. I always wanted to write and be atleast be a part of media company and finally I hope things fall into place. I'll be taking the exams in few hours, which reminds me.. time check... hmmm... time to go!

carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

another quiz

2007-03-24T01:22:00.000-05:00

i came across another quiz... ill be posting something prose next week or when my mood sets it...

You Are a Chimera
You are very outgoing and well connected to many people.Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others.You are rarely alone, and you do best in the company of others.You are incredibly expressive, and people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.
What Mythological Creature Are You?
carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

what my birthday means...

2007-03-07T22:52:00.000-05:00
i came across this quiz online and decided to take it here was the result...
Your Birthdate: June 3
You are more than a big ball of energy - you are a big ball of hyper. You are always on the go, but you don't have a type a personality. Instead of channeling your energy into work, you instead go for fun and adventure. Witty and verbal, you can have an interesting conversation with anyone. Your strength: Your larger than life imagination Your weakness: You tend to be pretty scattered Your power color: Lime Your power symbol: Lightening bolt Your power month: March
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

rock candy and other rambles

2007-02-23T23:04:00.000-05:00

1.> JayR invited me to join the Press Launch of Rock Candy and am not so glad. I was ecstatic. For the past few JayR events I've not been coming on time or maybe early is the right word, to his thing. I really don't want to waste time waiting like I used to, I'd rather sleep which I'm glad I did. Gates opened at 8:15pm, 02/21/2007 and I came around 9:45pm, groups of media people and showbiz personalities stormed in and celebrated the success of the RnB Prince's new endeavor. There were also privates peeps their like me who attended the launch, only these people had companions I was alone and had nowhere to sit. Good thing Don kept me company for a while and kept telling me that JayR was looking for me. I was outside for first few minutes, JayR saw me after one of his interviews he had outside and greeted me as he always did. Since I lacked sleep I was not really smiling the whole time(not that I really smile a lot) and he thought I wasn't having fun and offered me a drink. He asked me if I was really ok since I was frowned up everytime he bumps at me. JayR invited me inside to check out the bar, while being interviewed, talking business, taking pictures and signing sales drafts, talk about multi-tasking. So I made my way inside while I took my chance for photo ops and pleasuring my eyes with seeing scenes and interesting people inside. I helped myself with hors' dourves and bottle of beer that I later lost count of. Got to chat with Liza and JMuna who talked me into drinking the night away and KL who kept on checking on me. Maybe he was the one that told JayR I wasn't enjoying, but I was really.

When I thought that I was all alone for the night, I actually wasn't. I saw three familiar faces that helped in making the night, Abby and Nina my schoolmates who now works in GMA and Paulo who's now a proud Junior Associate Editor for A-List Magazine, gone far eh? Paulo didn't stay long so I just joined Nina and Abby, I introduced them to JayR as my schoolmates and he was surprised that I have schoolmates in media, wait till he meets and hears of more. He gets to work with those girls, since they're the writers of MMS. So I danced and drank the night with them and even invited me to watch the shooting of MMS the next which was yesterday in Rock Candy. While bonding we tried to spot eligible dates for that night and also made some catching not that we were really close college friends' but maybe that really how things are when you know your schoolmates and you see each other after a long time. The gurls couldn't stay long considering they have a shoot for the next day. So there I was alone again.

Don and his gang was not around anymore they could have given fliers for the upcoming events of the bar or maybe called it the night. I just continued drinking and finally took a chance to chat with JayR and Jimmy, also get to talk with Liza too. Its really been a while since I bonded with them, a few of the nicest peeps I know. I met a photographer who was a little clueless with Pinoy Pop Culture like I really mind, I was busy enjoying the party, he gave me his cards and we chatted for a while. JayR though drunk and dizzy gave MTV a tour to his bar so you guys better catch it. I even got a taste of the camera when JayR pulled me to say hi. It wasn't really a proud moment but it was kinda fun too. JMuna took his slot and continued with shoot for MTV, he was so funny.

It was a very long night, I stayed until around 4am. Dikke gave me a phone call and she also got to congratulate JayR and catched up a little with JMuna, who disappeared suddenly. Finally, we called it the night. Before we left we had little more chat and then went our way home.

2.> So how was your valentine? This was Chimbu's question to me after that V-day, Chimbu by the way is one of my favorite classmate back in grade school and tell you what, that's he's real name. He lives in NJ for the longest time now. After gradeschool graduation we didn't get to communicate until november of last year when I bumped into him in friendster. It was really great catching up, with an old perky friend.

I told him that it was very ordinary day for me, since I'm not hooked, althought I really wanted to scream my lungs out as I see flowers being delivered to my team mates in the office and other giving out chocolates to their beaus. It was the day when PDA's are legal, shit. Yes, I was really jealous with them not because I am single but because I envy them for having first experience of that kind of emotion and relationship that I also loved to have only for first-hand knowledge's sake. Bitter? maybe, or maybe not.

Come to think of it, I have fallen in love and I think I still am. I get to see the person that gives this feeling everyday, crosses my minf everyday and night, get to email and text so often. This person happens to be a very good friend that I thank the Lord for meeting. This person reminds me of a lot of things, and has made a better and stronger person. Thing is, I can not fall in love with this person, why I was asked by this friend of mine not to(read: Jamie Sullivan, A Walk to Remeber). Don't be so sure of yourself dork! Was what I can only tell my friend, when I what I really wanted to say is your too late. Hurt? Not really. I'd rather have the friendship... its the relationship that really last.

carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

daniel radcliffe... not just your boy wizard any more

2007-01-31T23:29:00.000-05:00

January 31, 2007

Daniel Radcliffe to show off his dong with a horse

This news has been around since late last year, but I guess it took an erotic photoshoot with a horse for everybody to start caring. 17-year-old Daniel Radcliffe is set to star in the London revival of the Tony award winning play Equus. The original calls for full frontal nudity including a scene where the main character simulates a sex act while riding naked on a horse. Who knows how faithful the new version will be, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And by "keeping my fingers crossed" I mean I've got a knife ready to lop off my penis if that horrible day ever comes.

A ton more of a half-naked Harry Potter looking ready to get it on with his horse after the jump. Thanks to all the bestiality perverts that sent this in.
~ I got this article from http://thesuperficial.com I always check that out to see who's being dissed and who's in. With the looks of this new article and supporting photos just tell if you we can agree more that Dan is really in. ~ I could not believe my eyes when I saw all these, this so much better than the tub scene in Harry Potter 4. Dan is really into this artistic maturity stuff. December Boys was one, seeing him perform in that film really convinced me that there's more to boy wizard than I actually thought. Kudos!!! carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

mixed rambles...

2006-12-06T02:29:00.000-05:00
~Strong display of emotions and beliefs challenges me to re-assess my views on various things. Let’s say for example now on love. I just emailed a friend at work through our web mail, telling him about it. Which I think is the reason I’m writing this blog. Lately, my boss Yong is just spieling his giggles on this new guy he’s dating and now his boyfriend and another office friend Hender just gushes over her exhilaration on previous date that she just had with a guy she has been chatting with for the longest time. I never believed in lasting relationships and in an honest one to be specific. But for some reason I’m being surrounded by people who’s enjoying their love-lives, Vanfild and his new guy, KV and her long time cutie boyfriend and even RL who has been very vocal with being a faithful wife and a loving mother. She was telling me yesterday how an ex-boyfriend was hinting on still having feelings for her, but she refused him because of her values. Even outside the office I’m bombarded by friends who are all in cloud nine. Dikkie just got back with Jeorge and relatively new friend Gica and Anthony (did I remember the name right?), whom I got to hang with twice. And of course JayR and Liza who’s been so in love for the longest time. Maybe I just grew with an environment were relationships are fragile. I understand that but why am I surrounded with there people? Is it a sign from the Great Cosmic one to open my heart to love? I was told that the reason I’ve been single is because I’m running away from love and worst may have closed my doors to it. I never saw myself into a relationship I think I’m not ready I have nothing to give. Petula Menggay said that I should not believe in the “You complete me” maxim, I don’t, really. I mean why burden being complete to another person. You should be complete so you give flawless heart to the other. You can give out your short comings and insecurity. So long to only other half that makes you whole huh? Its certain level I guess of maturity that lacks something that one should possess when getting in to it. I don’t have that… Ergo I’m not ready! ~Christmas season is the most hypocritical season I know. Don’t get me wrong, what I don’t understand is why many people patch up during Christmas, why fights are settled and conflicts set aside. Do this people really forgive and forget; little do we know they get back at their old issues after the season. Just because it’s the so called birth of Christ you go make peace? FAKER!!! If you have beef with someone do you honestly let is pass and forget because of the season of Divine love is here? Why do you wait for December to make up with shortcomings, ask for forgiveness for those you’ve wronged, say it’s ok to those who are fault with you, just because it’s Christmas Season? Give me a break! That’s something I don’t buy that, you’ve gotta be kidding me. And what after the season, do you continue being at peace? Suddenly all the pain you have caused is a joke and to you forgave it’s as if there was no gravity on the agony you got. Are you shitting with yourself? I’m not convince when people come up to me on Christmas and say sorry, pleas forgive me. You saying sorry because it’s Christmas, ok. Likewise I do not ask for an apology until I’m ready to ask for it or if I do accept that I am at fault. I’m not cold hearted opposed to what I was made to believe to, l just look at things with reason. I think what this season should teach us is to learn how to accept. There is life that will come anew. To enlighten our hearts from those anger and open up to solidarity, convergence and fellowship, what have you? When you can truthfully find it in your heart to do these; for those who genuinely have the sincerity to this all in the Season, why not? I laud you for that, not that I’m not the right person to give out recognition but the question is why waiting for Christmas? You know Christmas is actually the holiday I keep avoiding but keep on participating in, maybe because of its divinity. ~ I was about to log in to my yahoo email when I saw an article on Taylor Hicks and Kelly Clarkson. The title of the article was “Ungrateful Idols' there was also a video saying that they were actually dissing the contest. I was never a fan of either of the two. But it was interesting to know the score. Taylor the silver haired captain of the Soul Patrol was quoted to say that the contest was fizzling out. Taylor said that he was misquoted and really he really appreciated what contest has done for him as opposed to what rumors alleged that he said it was just a machine for him to showcase his talent and that it was so confining. Kelly Clarkson on the other hand was accused of being a snub and was also having bad publicity for not thanking AI when winning the Grammy's a mistake Carrie Underwood did not commit when accepting her award on from the same body. American Idol indeed was an instrument for these singers to launch there careers but I think they should also rise from the shadow of the contest and find their own ways. Diana Degarmo runner up to Fantasia is already making waves in Broadway. Jasmine Trias who was in the same season as Diana is already establised with her career in Asia. Jennifer Hudson is playing Effie White the temperamental Diva of the movie adaptation of Dreamgirls, along with Beyonce. Any many others what's important I guess is that they don't forget they got their first exposure from the contest.
I was about to log in to my yahoo email when I saw an article on Taylor Hicks and Kelly Clarkson. The title of the article was “Ungrateful Idols' there was also a video saying that they were actually dissing the contest. I was never a fan of either of the two. But it was interesting to know the score. Taylor the silver haired captain of the Soul Patrol was quoted to say that the contest was fizzling out. Taylor said that he was misquoted and really he really appreciated what contest has done for him as opposed to what rumors alleged that he said it was just a machine for him to showcase his talent and that it was so confining. Kelly Clarkson on the other hand was accused of being a snub and was also having bad publicity for not thanking AI when winning the Grammy's a mistake Carrie Underwood did not commit when accepting her award on from the same body. American Idol indeed was an instrument for these singers to launch there careers but I think they should also rise from the shadow of the contest and find their own ways. Diana Degarmo runner up to Fantasia is already making waves in Broadway. Jasmine Trias who was in the same season as Diana is already establised with her career in Asia. Jennifer Hudson is playing Effie White the temperamental Diva of the movie adaptation of Dreamgirls, along with Beyonce. Any many others what's important I guess is that they don't forget they got their first exposure from the contest.
~I’d really wanted to blog what’s going on with JayR and schedules and many others. At least it becomes unrated and unofficial. I think I know a good deal of facts but hell, I don’t know enough so… never mind. carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

movie marathon....

2006-11-13T01:38:00.000-05:00

THE COVENANT: Horror and Thriller
In 1692, five families with untold power formed a covenant of silence. One family lusting for more, was banished. Their bloodline disappearing without a trace. Until now.
Now this one is enjoying even if it didn’t have some steamy love scenes, it was compensated by partial nudities... hehe. THE COVENANT is a hip, visually dazzling, sexy supernatural thriller showcasing rising young stars Steven Strait (Sky High, 10,000 B.C.), Laura Ramsey (Lords of Dogtown, She's the Man) and Taylor Kitsch (NBC TV's Friday Night Lights) as well as award-winning actress Wendy Crewson ("24," Eight Below). Directed by RENNY HARLIN (Exorcist: The Beginning, Die Hard 2, Deep Blue Sea), THE COVENANT is from an original screenplay by J.S. CARDONE (Alien Hunter, True Blue). It stars STEVEN STRAIT (Sky High, 10,000 B.C.), SEBASTIAN STAN (All Fall Down, Red Doors), LAURA RAMSEY (Lords of Dogtown, She's the Man) and co-stars TAYLOR KITSCH (Snakes on a Plane, NBC TV's upcoming series Friday Night Lights), TOBY HEMINGWAY, JESSICA LUCAS and CHACE CRAWFORD. THE COVENANT also features award-winning actress WENDY CREWSON ("24," The Santa Clause 1, 2 & 3). As the new school year begins at Spenser Academy, students have gathered for a wild outdoor party to mark the end of summer. Hundreds of feet above the gyrating bodies, Caleb Danvers (STEVEN STRAIT) and his three best friends walk to the edge of a dizzying precipice and drop unseen and unscathed before casually joining the fray. At the party, gorgeous newcomer Sarah Wenham (LAURA RAMSEY) is introduced to the boys by her equally stunning roommate Kate (JESSICA LUCAS). The girls also meet an intriguing transfer student named Chase Collins (SEBASTIAN STAN), who quickly ingratiates himself into the group. With Caleb's birthday just a few days away, his mother Evelyn (WENDY CREWSON) is terrified her son will find it impossible to resist the lure of power like his father before him. Caleb assures her he'll be able to handle his new abilities. But will he really? And what if he needs his power to fight an evil force that threatens everything he loves? This movie is not as heavy or dark as Warlock back in the early eighties, but its dark enough to get you a little frightened. I kind of think the movie was sexy especially if you were only listening to the sounds and if concentrate on the visuals. I appreciated Steven Strait here I was so disgusted with Sky High maybe because it’s some teeny bopper movie, not my kind of thing. I was impressed on how they presented the story. I was impressed on how Caleb survived when his car crashed the ten-wheeler truck and got back to his mobile phone and talked to his friend unscratched including his car. I was telling Dikkie who was with me that Prue (Shannen Doherthy of Charmed) is a more powerful telepath than either Caleb or Chase. There was no questioning though on how hot those boys were. Imagine power, money and looks, what else will you ask for. Am definitely going to get a copy of this.
CAKE (2006): Comedy and Romance
Have your life and eat it, too
A single and freewheeling travel writer finds that adapting to the nine-to-five lifestyle isn't as easy as it looks when her ailing father hires her to take control of his successful bridal magazine in this marriage-minded comedy starring Heather Graham, David Sutcliffe, Sandra Oh, and TayeDiggs. Upon returning to her hometown to once again be a bridesmaid in yet another wedding, jet-lagged, gin-soaked travel writer Pippa McGee (Graham) soon learns that her tyrannical publishing magnate father has been hospitalized after suffering a serious heart attack. As Pippa rushes to his bedside and the ailing mogul asks her to take editorial control of one of his most popular magazines, her excitement soon turns sour upon learning that the magazine in question is not a political or travel magazine, but the one and only Wedding Bells monthly. Determined to succeed despite the constant reminders of just how single she truly is, Pippa is horrified to learn that the man her father has chosen as her publishing mentor is the same man that she drunkenly came on to at her close friend's recent wedding. This is one major mushy film, I saw this with Dikkie. We planned to watch The Banquet at the Power Plant Movies but it was not being shown anymore. She thought the movie was just comedy, I thought it was just some bitchy movie; it did not occur to us that the movie was mushy. Ero appena cosí deluso, odio i film sdolcinati! Well anyway, the movie wasn't that of a disappointment. We enjoyed the movie and thought it was fine in the end. I related to Pippa, I do not believe in a lasting marriage and a lasting relationship as culture and society dictates it to be. Pippa I guess was just the modern, wavered and not to mention blonde version of Katherine Ann Willis (Julia Roberts in Mona Lisa Smile). Only Katherine was more extreme of here belief, considering what the status quo of that time was. Amo Mona Lisa Smile meglio! Nonetheless, like Pippa I guess when you do find somebody that tells you this is it. Everything will fall into place. Pippa is lucky she didn't live in Katherine's time where women would have to give up their career, dreams and spirits for married life. eww.

THE PRESTIGE: Thriller
Are you watching closely?
"We were two young men at the start of a great career. Two young men devoted to an illusion. Two young men who never intended to hurt anyone."--Alfred Borden, THE PRESTIGE From the same Director that brought us Memento and Batman Begins, Christopher Nolan, leads us to journey of magician's life in the Victorian era as narrated by two apprentices and friends that eventually becomes magicians and obsessed rivals. It all begins in rapidly changing, turn-of-the-century London. At a time when magicians are idols and celebrities of the highest order, two young magicians set out to carve their own paths to fame. The flashy, sophisticated Robert Angier (HUGH JACKMAN) is a consummate entertainer, while the rough-edged purist Alfred Borden (CHRISTIAN BALE) is a creative genius who lacks the panache to showcase his magical ideas. Their rivalry is brought to life by two of today's most compelling screen stars: Tony Award winner Hugh Jackman, beloved on screen for his portrayal of the feral Wolverine in "X-Men" and its sequels, and Christian Bale, acclaimed for his intense performances including his recent turn as the Caped Crusader in "Batman Begins". start out as admiring friends and partners. But when their biggest trick goes terribly awry, they become enemies for life -- each intent on outdoing and upending the other. Trick by trick, show by show, their ferocious competition builds until it knows no bounds, even utilizing the fantastical new powers of electricity and the scientific brilliance of Nikola Tesla -- while the lives of everyone around them hang in the balance. Rife with sleight-of-hand shocks and revelations, the film delves into a riveting world where the farthest, darkest edges of faith, trust and the possible are probed. I have always enjoyed movies that showcased magic. It fascinates me and gets me really hooked. This explains why I like TV shows like Charmed, True Calling and Buffy The Vampire Slayer, even Sabrina was interesting and this new British show in Star World Hex. Only this time its real magic the movie was showing. How tricks with doves and handcuffs are done. I'd love to learn and maybe do it at some family or friend gatherings for amusement. THE DEPARTED(2006): Crime and Drama.
Cops or criminals. When you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
"The Departed," the gritty crime drama from director Martin Scorsese, takes us into the lives of two cops: Colin Sullivan, smart and unabashedly ambitious, appears to be on the fast track in the Massachusetts State Police Department's elite Special Investigations Unit, whose prime target is powerful Irish mob boss Frank Costello. Billy Costigan, street-smart and tough, is purported to have a violent temper that costs him his badge and eventually lands him back on the rough streets of South Boston, where he is recruited into Costello's ranks. But neither man is what he seems and, as they work at cross purposes, they are plunged into a dangerous game of cat and mouse in which the stakes could not be higher.(check link) Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson and Mark Walbherg star in Martin Scorsese's new crime drama "The Departed".
Set in South Boston, MA, the movie was about an all out war by Massachusetts State Police Department to take down the city's top organized crime ring led by Frank Costello(Nicholson). They got Billy Costigan(DiCaprio) a Police Academy undergrad to infiltrate the crime mob while Costello planted his own rat Collin Sullivan(Damon) in the MSP who dramatically climbs some ranks and eventually get a spot at the Special Investigations Unit. So the question here is who gets ahead of whom? While Billy tips the MSP and Collin reports back to Costello. I got extremely excited when both Billy and Collin get so consumed of their double life, gathering information about the plans and counter-plans of the operation he has penetrated. But when it becomes clear to both the gangsters and the police that they have a mole in their midst, Billy and Colin find themselves in constant danger of being caught and exposed to the enemy -- and each must race to uncover the identity of the other man in time to save himself. I also got carried away with the story impatient on who catches who and who's cover is blown. I especially loved the last few scenes when every character got shot in the head I really thought that was funny.
~ I also did some DVD marathon... I'll blog it in another day... cosi' amo guardando appena i film... carpe diem... ü
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

Petals...

2006-11-06T02:04:00.000-05:00
I've often wondered if there's Ever been a perfect family I've always longed for undividedness And sought stability A flower taught me how to pray But as I grew that flower changed She started flailing in the wind Like golden petals scattering And I miss you dandelion And even love you And I wish there was a way For me to trust you But it hurts me everytime I try to touch you But I miss you dandelion And even love you I gravitated towards a patriarch So young predictavly I was resigned to spend my life Within a maze of misery A boy and a girl befriended me We're bonded through despondency I stayed so long but finally I fled to save my sanity And I miss you little sis and Little brother And I hope you realize I'll always love you And although you're struggling You will recover And I miss you little sis and Little brother So many I considered Closest to me Turned on a dime and sold me Out dutifully Although that knife was chipping Away at me They turned their eyes away and Went home to sleep And I missed a lot of life But I'll recover Though I know you really like To see me suffer Still I wish that you and I'd Forgive each other 'Cause I miss you, Valentine And really loved you I really loved you- I tried so hard But you drove me away To preserve my sanity- And I found the strength To break away Fly... ~ the problem is that i always that i always look for something that is not there. it does not make sense to whine knowing that you are getting anywhere, when you know from the start that its not meant to be. i've always held this pain and grudge for my family to point of loathing but it only veers me aways from them. but i also try my best to fit it. i dont what my role is or where im supposed to be at , i never asked. life will never be perfect and what i cant just sit and laugh it out. i felt i was never treated well, but when i look to the other characters that exist in the house i know im over reacting. the family has a structure problem to which im part of . well maybe my problem is i dont know how to deal.

~ this would be the second installment of this blog. i wrote one with the same title back in january. the year is close to its end and my feeling for my family has now changed, yes i was bitter and angry. one of my cousins said that there's really no use with aggravating yourself. he's right... my parents who were also wronged advised me to let go and loosen up, and to forgive, they have and they're over it. forgive and forget they say. i don’t believe in it... i can forgive but not forget... but i can forgive, accept and learn. i have forgiven people who have mocked me for not being rich. i have forgiven people who have insulted me for not being the persons they have grown up to be. i have forgiven people for thinking i have no love in my heart and i am indifferent. because i forgave i have accepted the fact that things will not always go your way. i have accepted that people are bounded by culture and their way of thinking. i have accepted that it’s their way not mine. with that acceptance i have learned that words mean nothing but what the speaker meant it to be. i have learned that language does not make a thought but rather thought creates language. i have learned that i am enough and i am worthy but everyone is, right? and now i do not affect myself with negativity as i have said to my friend's boyfriend "it’s not healthy". it'll be a conscious effort for me to maintain positivism in me. there are things that i should do. first is not to aggravate myself with things the ugly things i have no control of. i will surround myself with person with happier dispositions in life. i will refrain from socializing with sensitive, shallow, narrow-minded and touchy individuals that will just irritate me. i will always keep my cool whenever i'm pressured or in a tight situation. i will keep my cool when i am around people i chose not to be with. its fate and you can’t fight it. lastly i will value what is spiritually gratifying over what is material. blessed be... carpe diem...

Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

never too far... In music she found her dream, her love, herself

2006-10-27T03:51:00.000-05:00
to all of you here, dont take anyone for granted... because you'll never know when you're gonna loose them...
the famous line from the movie Glitter or the famous line from the Never too Far music video, starred and sung by Mariah Carey from the movie and album of the same title. Mariah Carey plays Billie Frank, a shy, young mixed-race girl who is sent away by her alcoholic mother at a very early age. At an orphanage, she befriends Louise (Da Brat) and Roxanne (Tia Texada). Flash forward to 1983. Billie and her friends are spotted by a record producer, Timothy Walker (Terrence Howard), who wants them to sing backup for his latest pop-music discovery. But when super DJ Dice (Max Beesley) hears Billie's incredible voice, he makes a shady deal with Timothy to get her out of that dead-end situation. Soon, Billie and Dice are making hits inside the studio, and falling in love outside of it. Eventually, the pressure of her newfound celebrity puts too heavy a strain on Billie, forcing her to decide what it is she really wants from Dice, and what she wants for herself.
ok i know that this was movie back on 01, but i just remembered this movie when i listened to the OST. and i remembered that line on her madison square garden concert. yes, i agree with her, we should always reinforce to our loved ones how important they are to us. in the movie Billie who as much as she wanted tried and could not. things got really complicated till it was too late. if you'd ask me she just neglected it. but there's always a rainbow after the storm... Mariah is just like Billie in the movie, mixed raced and was not able to make sure that important man in her life knows she's sorry and she loves him in Glitter, it would be love interest Dice and in real life her father Alfred Roy... Mariah did get through the rain as her charmbracelet suggest reason why her new album is called Emancipation of Mimi which coincidetally sounded like Lauren Hill's way over the past album Emancipation of Lauren...
There's definitely chances given to everyone not just to Billie Frank or Mariah Carey. God has given awful lot of chances and I'll make sure I dont waste it... ü

regine did not commit the same mistake billie did. she made sure she thanked everyone she has worked with and is working with. regine is still close ties with manager for 15 years Ronnie Henares, unlike Billie who's in bad blood with Timothy or Mariah with Tony Motala. regine was like billie in a sense she started in scratch. i have followed regine's career and well was there in her anniversary concert. i remember her saying that night "...sabi nila sa akin, di raw ako sisikat kasi di ako marunong mag english... look at me now", regine was definitely bad in english her first concert in makati was almost a flop when she all over with her spiels and decided to just do her thing in adlibs in filipino. her anniversary concert was actually my dream concert that she'd make, sing her hits, reminisce her all that has gone through. she never sang with that much of a heart before and i felt her being very thankfull and touched every minute of the show. i enjoyed every song, i didnt even mind if the arrangement was changed or not. i recall regine saying that she could not sing her old hits and that she felt that her voice has already deteriorated. but when she sang "what kind of fool am i", "a light of a million mornings", "sana maulit muli" and ofcourse "love me again" which was the first song she sang as an artist, not a contestant in a singing contest. i enjoyed her medley of contest pieces for asian music festival "in your eyes", "and im telling you" and "you'll never walk alone". regine definetly deserves her 20 years and maybe even more... ü
carpe diem...
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

back to singing...

2006-10-15T08:50:00.000-05:00
as the title suggest i am indeed back to singing. not that i stopped, i did stop formal and guided singing. for like two to three years i've violated all the rudiments of classical and proper singing and the same time i was looking for a place where i can get honed. lucky though that my company has a singing groups that have been rehearsing for almost four weeks and had a performance. i planned to get in but my schedule was not allowing me. as then sudden twist of events changed everything, i should say that im lucky to know peeps in the choir and coincidentally the conductor, who happened to invite to this afternoon practice and get me to join the group. my batchmate at work who was already part of the choir, was surprised on how my audition was quick and was quipping on how i followed on the notes i was asked to sang in the audition. i was ofcourse asked by the conductor to sing an audition piece, am i proud that i was not prepared? ... well yeah... lols. i always knew that im going to get a tenor post so i sang a very simple song, something bordering to a baritone and bass, something that would not require effort. i love my love notes and i hope i can sing songs with lowers keys, unfortunately that's not my gift. i really have the voice for high keys. the reason i was invited to join was aside from the fact that i personally know that conductor, i have to take the place of a member that had to quit. well i felt that i extended myself to thin when i attended my first practice. i have not done apodio for a long time and i felt my stomach muscles hurt. i was trying to sing the way that used to and well am glad that my ears are still keen with notes and pitch, and my eyes still knows how to read notes. im so excited with all the plans and the chorale has and i hope that i get to blend well with the group not just musically but also professionally and socially... thanks patrick and jaymee... and maybe guddz too... carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

carter brothers

2006-10-08T02:00:00.000-05:00

talk about good relationship....
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

party... hotel... clinic

2006-10-03T01:09:00.000-05:00
i had not slept at my bedroom for the past five days, maybe because of the weather that almost ruined my plans for friday. i was building my week for my big friday night out. i was going to watch JayR at Bagaberde Pasig like i've never seen him or know him at all. same night would be a big team building for our MO team. so this was thursday of last week and the rain was just not very believable i decided to sleep in the office... woke around 4pm and i got home to rest and prepare. had not been to pasig for the longest time. it really felt like forever waiting for a cab to get me there and i did get there. it was fun and i got the chance to talk to JayR bout something he asked me through sms that really bothered me, gladly things was resolved. jayr would be one of the nicest person i know. him and liza, very genuine people and i really feel blessed knowing them. i also got to meet april and aryanna, who'll happen to release her cd soon. i left the party slightly tipsy and i was about to head home and i suddenly remembered that i had to go to my team building. i passed by the office to make sure i gave my officemate his dressdown ticket that he bought from me and from there i went straight to makati palace hotel, i wasnt looking forward to it. honestly i didnt enjoy the first hour even if i had my drunk boss game with my flirting... hehe. i was so irritated the first few minutes of my stay for reason i wont divulge. anyway i did enjoy... i was there from 2am till 5pm the next day. we were drinking chatting, talking bout the old times, which was actually very recent. ate and drank a lot... it was blast. im just too embarassed to drop some details, anyone willing please go ahead and say it. i would really miss my original team, got used to the faces that i see, the calls that we take and how our environment work. am glad enough that i got to stay with mother sanggre or id really resign. that party made realize how i important my job is to me and that id really want to stay. i have not really shown any effort to reprieve myself from all the headache i gave mother sanggre but i'll make it up to him. lets just say i was over partied, got sick the night after we left that i went straight to the office clinic and had myself check. my fever was rocketting and that the company nurse had to let me stay till my fever dropped. i never felt really cared for in years, i got even more ill than that before but my father never really cared or took time to check on me or even made effort to make me feel better, like buy my medicine or stop smoking in my room. that was the past... im doin well now thanks God... carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

on being a camera man...

2006-09-17T10:41:00.000-05:00
ok people if there is anyhting hideous you read from this posting i apologize in advance, just got home from the Virgin Cafe and Im still tipsy, hehe. 09162006 Prek confirmned that we are meeting up at Mcdonalds near GMA7, I called off because I know she needs to gets some stuff done at a certain time. I met with Dikkie at SM Makati at around 7pm. Around the same time, JayR was confirming if Im on the way and I was like yes boss. Prek you should have told me that we were the only persons you were waiting for, we should up snapped out. So Dikkie and I met up and got off at GMA7 supposedly at Quezon Ave., but good thing we did because we famished and we ate at Burger Machine Prek meanwhile was at Chowking eating. I was not aware what time we got to Virgin Cafe, but as soon as we did we strolled and chatted around. Jay of Titikpilipino who happened to be media partner was there, remember to log on his website http://www.titikpilipino.com, then we started talking which sounded like an interview, yes Jay tables turned. Dikkie was also doing her thing whatever it is. Onliners here and there texted, called and arrived. Mau it was great of you to drag some peeps with you and Gian... hmf! I'll save that part in the latter part of this prose. Brian never let the chance to miss a bar tour, did he? Dikkie and I was not satisfied with what we ate and got some dumplings at the chinese resto beside Virgin Cafe and I swear to God I love, that was the same time JayR along with Jimmy, Liza and Jacq arrived. Yet another exhange of hellos, kisses, picture talking and how are yous poured in. On the way to the entrance JayR asked me if I can do him a favor... I was like uh.. Yes?!, and he went I'll set things up... ok... are you going to set me up for something funny? Was that the reason he was asking if Im going? hmm... so there we eat up our dumplings and freshened up and went back inside. JayR was setting a video cam, then called me and Dikkie, so Boyet and another guy was there and I knew what's gonna happen. Ok so tonight JayR's the boss. When we found the perfect spot for the camera, JayR explained how I was going to man the camera, yes I was to man the camera. I knew what I and what everybody's role was in JayR online, JayR is the idol, Jayson was president, Prek was VP External, I am VP Internal, Tin was sec, Te the treasure, Dikkie is online mod and the rest is the rest. But I was cameaman, nah not for a long shot! Hell yeah, you guessed it I said yes. It was not easy but it was fun. So I practiced operating the stuff then we kept the cam first at the band room while the main show was not yet on. It doesnt mean that just because yours truly was documenting the show I'll let myself miss a photo op, got all the pictures I wanted plus getting my drinks and food for free courtesy of the Man, JayR!!! You get all the perks and stuf, the best was to know that you are given responsibility because there is a level of trust establised. Video taping the event was not really very big, but it was very elating for me. the show was hosted by KC Montero, he first introduced April whom I got to get introduced to and have a photo with along with KL that I got later in the show. April sang around three songs last two was Paalam Na from her album which was a tagalog song but sounded english to me and her carrier single from her album My Music My Time, Stay Real our very own GianCarla rocked the stage with her kickass dance moves which April dance to. After that was Jayr's turn where he opened with For You, then Let Me Love You and then Yeah, where JMuna and KC sang with him there was this other song that I forgot the title, I was focused shooting while drinking colt ice, long island and eating calamares, cut me some slack. I filmed the whole thing including the hilarious parts. Then Lisa prompted me to pause it... I didnt and started to take a shot of the onliners and Lisa's group at the table with KL, KC, Jacq, Coby and Aubrey. Boss JayR called me to follow him at the band room not for a reprimand but to express gratitude and yet another photo op and some tete-a-tete. JayR was in a hurry but not in hurry, it was around 1am and all of them have SOP and KL have ASAP. He stayed longer for more photos and chats. He invited me to SOP with Jayson, but considering how boring it is... I'll consider. When it was time to call the night girls selling sampaguita swarmed up and ran their twisted stories and I bought it, the story and the flowers. JMuna was a sweetheart saying ingat to everybody, imagine hearing "ingat!" in an american accent. yeah it was funny but sweet. I commended him for finally getting a good photo for the poster, that was actually from the cottage they rented at palawan. I asked him if he got to go to Koron in palawan and see the stalagmites, the beach kinda thing that you'll get to from scuba diving to one of the caves there. So there it was goodbyes, thank yous and see you again. carpe diem!!! ~ this was my posting at http://www.jayr_online.com the official online fan community of RnB Prince JayR. I just wanted to add a little something something. photos to follow.
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

Mariah Carey & John Legend - With You I'm Born Again

2006-09-10T09:25:00.000-05:00

Mariah Carey & John Legend - With You I'm Born Again (Live on Save The Music Concert), I have always this song and was ecstatic to know that the artist that I wanted hear it sing actually did.
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

where you are...

2006-08-28T01:14:00.000-05:00
aint it just disappointing? carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

stories...

2006-08-20T05:56:00.000-05:00
i have not updated this blog for a long time and there was really alot of things i wanted to say. lucky that i have journal to write on. plenty of stuff happened last week and it really made me feel blessed. exactly seven days ago my house got robbed. i woke around 5am and looked for phone. i remembered setting my alarm to make sure get up early enough to prepare to mass and then i woke earlier than what i set the alarm for and there i discovered that house was sacked....
this blog maybe dated august but its actually september.... hehehe
for past weeks i get to catch up with friends which i so wanted for a long time. where do i start. Petula Menggay... she will always a place in my heart despite of God know what reason. She was the one who exposed me to more culture and art to media, my technically first job came from her. She was actually a professor in the college i was in but not im my department. she was more that a teacher to me, she was a mentor a friend and a confidant. she was there at my lowest and that is why i will never forget her. so some weeks ago we go to talk again its not that we dont, we still chat thorugh friendster and text but it was not enough. so one saturday i stayed longer in the office to make sure i catch her. she is now back in media the field she's best at. we got to talk about what we love talking about, philosophy, music, our crushes, what weve gone through... we even talked about keanna reeves and why pinoy big brother was an avenue for second chances... hadnt she joined she will still be typecast as slutty bitch that escorts some dirty congressmen and what have you not that she's not thought of that way anymore. atleast pbb showed that there is sensitive side of her. a good and patient friend that she was to rustom to his painfull coming out, not to mention her comic break when she peed at the pbb grass. she was also motherly to john pratts when he missed his parents and was also sensitive and caring to her housemates when she told off mitch and her conceited whims. We also talked how God loves us and why we should satisfy our spritual needs and obligations.
Scarlett and I have not been communicating very well but we get to fix that she was my first real bestfriend. it all started with our whistling ways and our love for mariah then theater and music. alot of things happened in our lives that made us bitter. we started to hate the world and turn back at things we loved, excelled at, including our friendship. scarlett relayed that some months ago she was screaming when she woked up. that glass shattered in her sleep it was actually her window not because of her scream, she wasnt sure at first. so she went back to sleep. a few days later. she decided to clean-up her to change how it looks, maybe for theraphy. she was shocked with what she saw. while cleaning she saw a bullet upon picking it up she looked the direction of her shattered window then to the ceiling there was a hole in the ceiling and hole was in the exact line of sight of where she tilts her head when she sleeps. it dawned at her that she could have died that night the window shattered. guess what the bullet under her bed it was supposed to hit her exactly on the head. another story of second chance? hmmm.... she then realized how ungrateful of God she is, she now keeps the bullet in her wallet as a reminder of God letting her know that there's more to life and that she can still get through all that obstacles she's in.
one of my friends that i still see as often as i could is... well to protect her identity i'll call her Phd Jr. we've beens friends for a long time but its only recently did she trust with some very dark secrets of hers. i also shared mine. did it change how we see each other? yes, we are not closer and better friends to each other. maybe we were pushed to be by circumstances because we always singled out in this groups we're at and always tag team in fault. ill write more about her in another blog....
dare 1 is one of very few straight friends who are very open, he also had some horror stories and the reason why i call him dare 1 is because that what he used to be called. now he's a change man. from gangster to religious father. enough said... well that was all in the past. dare1 is also my officemate and buddy. 0915 was his last day in the office and i slightly gave him a hand with his clearance. it was a long process and it took the whole night that stretch to the mornings... i was there till his exit interview and it seems as though i was being interviewed too. then breakfast where Phd Jr got to join us. that was their first to meet and im really glad that they got to know each other. when i first met dare1 everything fell into place. we both knew we're gonna be friends and it really grew fast. so i was just so devastated when he had to leave the office. my mother sanggre referred it as separation anxiety. Phd Jr, said i am just too attached with my people. ill truly miss you dare1...
ü
carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

Which Hellenistic School of Philosophy Would You Belong To?

2006-07-30T02:31:00.000-05:00

Which Hellenistic School of Philosophy Would You Belong To?

You are a Sceptic.Philosophical skepticism originated in ancient Greek philosophy. One of its first proponents was Pyrrho of Elis (c. 360-275 B.C.), who travelled and studied as far as India, and propounded the adoption of 'practical' skepticism. Subsequently, in the 'New Academy' Arcesilaos (c. 315-241 B.C.) and Carneades (c. 213-129 B.C.) developed more theoretical perspectives, whereby conceptions of absolute truth and falsity were refuted. Carneades criticised the views of the Dogmatists, especially supporters of Stoicism, asserting that absolute certainty of knowledge is impossible. Sextus Empiricus (c. A.D. 200), the main authority for Greek skepticism, developed the position further, incorporating aspects of empiricism into the basis for asserting knowledge.Greek skeptics criticised the Stoics, accusing them of dogmatism. For the skeptics, the logical mode of argument was untenable, as it relied on propositions which could not be said to be either true or false without relying on further propositions. This was the argument of infinite regress, whereby every proposition must rely on other propositions in order to maintain its validity. In addition, the skeptics argued that two propositions could not rely on each other, as this would create a circular argument (as p implies q and q implies p). For the skeptics logic was thus an inadequate measure of truth which could create as many problems as it claimed to have solved. Truth was not, however, necessarily unobtainable, but rather an idea which did not yet exist in a pure form. Although skepticism was accused of denying the possibility of truth, in actual fact it appears to have mainly been a critical school which merely claimed that logicians had not discovered truth. Take this quiz! Quizilla Join Make A Quiz More Quizzes Grab Code

I have alot of things in mind right now that I want to share, actually that quiz result does really relate to me very much considering Im more postmordernist than hellenistic. I was more fascinated in language, hermenuetics, structuralism and even epistemology. I have a friend who was a romanticist who would related more to this. She believes that God is the first cause. I do not doubt her believes but she posits her argument through passion and her strong grasp in her faith. I believe that God is the first cause but I would also say that God is the end. The causality of all causes. Then again none of could or should tell what and who God is, that is a limit on who we say he is. Calling Him God is already a limitation of being that He is.
If you want to know my basis of truth its something I can not answer, one can not rely soley in their senses to obtain the truth. One's basis of objectivity is still in reference to his belief to obejective, ergo still subjective. Then why do we have laws that dictated right and wrong or let's say good and evil? These are based on the status quo and what the society agreed to be good or evil and as time shifts the norms also change.
carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

which literature classic are you?

2006-07-21T04:27:00.000-05:00
i have been very anxious this days and i feel that my thoughts are so in dissarray. i felt that i should go back to reading it usually calms me down and keeps me sane. i have books piled up for me but my body is just too tired to carry a book and read it, but my mind still thirst for knowledge and the wisdom it may bring. i read varieties of literature so this quiz that i saw from a friends myspace page interest me. suprisingly to me, here was the result. try yourself, it may also surprise you.

Which literature classic are you?

J.R.R. Tolkien: Lord of the Rings. You are entertaining and imaginative, creating whole new worlds around yourself. Well loved, you have a whole league of imitators, none of which is quite as profound as you are. Stories and songs give a spark of joy in the middle of your eternal battle with the forces of evil. Take this quiz! Quizilla Join Make A Quiz More Quizzes Grab Code
carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

I am enough. Are you?

2006-07-09T05:29:00.000-05:00
In kindergarten, my mom brought me Jonis cake and Goya chocolates in brown doggie bags for my 6th birthday, my classmates, who didn’t know any better, sniggered, made a face and I thought they said, “Your cake and chocolates are cheap as you are cheap. You are not good enough.” I almost believed it then that I wasn’t good enough if it not for my two friends, Ann Papa Malinit and Mary Ann Coleen Astorga who played with me, shared stories with me and talked to me even though I didn’t give them Sanrio stationeries, owned cute Barbie dolls and had fancy clothes and shoes. But I began to have doubts when my 5th grade teacher, Miss Blesilda Abellon who sensed I had a huge crush on our class valedictorian, Arnold Leyva Simon, had me sit right next to him, perhaps to curve my intense desire to talk non-stop, and all of sudden, my 10 year-old love of my life, bawled and cried the entire day. I thought he said, “You’re not pretty, rich and intelligent enough. You are no good.” What made my elementary life catastrophic was my predisposition to skin problems. I remember in 6th grade, my entire body was covered with boils and my feet had so much pus in them it hurt to walk and go to class. The boys teased me endlessly and then I begin to seriously doubt my self-worth. After all, when one gets called all sorts of names, from Galis, Beinte-Singko, Coins, Peklat, Piso, it could be hard really hard to like yourself. So I thought I needed to ask my dad and he said, “Wag mo silang pansinin. Mag-aral ka lang mabuti. Hindi sa pera nasusukat ang pagkatao.” Ok, got that…. so in high school, I studied intensely. I found pleasure in books and writing. They were my real friends. My friends in high school, well, I’m not really sure I was part of the friendship circle; my name wasn’t in any of the group’s name which had initials of their first names. I thought if I could have my brains, perhaps, I was worth something. At first, I did well. I excelled in almost all my subjects: English, Biology, Physics, Chemistry, Filipino except Mathematics and Physical Education. I was so afraid of studying Math, I had nightmares day in and day out and would break into cold sweat whenever Algebra teacher Lino Reynoso would come near me and whisper, “Tandaan mo kelangan mo maka-line of 8 sa subject ko kung hindi tanggal ka sa honor roll.” Physical education was traumatic for me because the class required me to wear shorts which exposed my badly scarred legs. The boys and some girls were quick to talk behind my back. One boy even courted me on a bet and later, I heard him tell my friend, “Si Mheanne maganda sana, pangit lang legs niya.” But at this time, I was determined to prove my self-worth. I was asserting myself. I believed what my dad said and I simply didn’t care about what my high school peers said about me. Not even when one of my friends called an open forum to point out that my socks were too high and I had terrible fashion sense and one of my classmates even had the gall to ask me what my dad did for work because I had only one pair of shoes. So I didn’t have friends in high school. I had few suitors, too. Most of them were intelligent boys who looked beyond the surface and were mostly presidents of their own class and school organizations. I remember them up to this day: Roy Cabonegro, John Paulo Fernandez and Pol Salvador and I cherish them in my heart because for a brief moment, they made high school life, just a little bit sweeter to remember. I thought I was doing okay. I thought I had lots of self-esteem and then something happened that would change my life forever. I lost the value of my knowledge. I wasn’t considered wise anymore. I was just a stupid young woman who made a costly mistake. Oh no! I thought. I wasn’t rich. I wasn’t pretty. I wasn’t intelligent anymore. I am nothing. I am not enough. But then, God came into my life and talked to me in a dream. He told me, “You are enough because I made you. In the whole universe, there is nobody like you. You are unique. I made you in my own image. You are worthy of My Love. You are enough.” SO now, I am enough. I feel worthy. I do not need the latest model of the cell phone, a mansion in the suburbs, flashy cars, sophisticated clothes and shoes, PhD. Degree and many compliments, I realize now that there are just trappings of the material world and I am still myself without them. I don’t need them in my life really and I just have to stay focused on my spiritual goals. Material things are temporary and just means to an end. I am happy now. I am not insecure anymore. I am complete because I am enough. Are you? ~ this is one of the blogs that really hit me... and I so agree I am enough, I am worthy and so are you carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

eating out... a review of sorts...

2006-07-08T04:51:00.000-05:00
I was supposed to write a blog on Scott Lunsford, he's the guy with brown hair. Since I overdid my research I figured to write on the movie where I bumped on him(thanks to my MotherSang-gre`). So here goes. I dont even know where to start I just got my own copy last night I had to go to the exact place where it was bought by the one who lent me the video and I am so psyched until now I just can't get over the movie and the fact I have my own copy. Ok so where do I start as I have said in my previous blog this was directed by Q. Allan Brocka who happened to be Lino Brocka's nephew. That is not even the interesting part. Q(the director) said that this movie started from some sort of a joke. He was still in college and he kinda wrote this movie as a per semester requirement in their screenwriting class in Institute of Arts in California. Since other classmates where raking their heads with intense mind boggling deeply emotional stories, Q wrote intense gay sex scenes that late would be read out loud in their class... cute aint it? So there eating out was born. Q wasnt really a gay flick writer, if you recall from what I said in my previous blog, he's like a cross of his uncle and his rival Bernal(my belief). Since Lino was known for the emotionally wrenching movies he made that I never like and Bernal was the more intellectual film maker, you'll see a fuse on the themes of his movie which makes him pretty unique. He's bordering from tear-maker and mind baffler. Pass forward Q is now an established director and was approached by Micheal Shoel from Ariztical Entertainment was looking for a light storyline with lots sex and lots of laugh. You got it right Eating Out just popped up his conciousness and since the goal was to make something funny the script fit the requirments. Like many indie films and campus made films or digital productions, they went through a scarced resource for pre-production. This would not just mean money but human resources, from staffs to talents. Q relays that Emily Stiles was first to join the group whom he knew was perfect for the role Gwen. Emily was always in theater from MO to OR and finally L.A., CA. Then came Jim Verraros, Q being an American Idol follower knew Jim was from the contest and was openly-gay so it occured to him that he'll fit the role Kyle and contacted him. Ryan Carnes(Marc) whom I think really sounds like Freddie Prinze, hails from IL, an athlete who discovered the thespian within and also happens to an accomplished drummer(he's a classical pianist in the film) and surprisingly a lyricist, now seen in General Hospital and Desperate Housewives. Scott Lunsford(Caleb... see bottom photo) comes from the same state that produced Brad Pitt, only Scott's from Tulsa and Brad's from Shawnee, bottomline is they're both from OK. Scott is a painter and an accomplish chess player... now he's an actor with movies, Pandemonium, Last Man out and Near Death, see the connection. Rebekah Kochan (Tiffany), would you even believe that this girl who played the ass b_och role happened to play the lead for Annie and Secret Garden lead Martha? This is her first film and Im telling you theater artist are really tight talents. The film was shot in Arizona for ten day and imagine the scourge they had from weather to the all the technical difficulties they experienced. The important thing I guess for them was the movie was mounted and it reaped awards.. and here are all of it. Levi's First Feature Award, Frameline San Francisco International Lesbian and Gay Film FestivalBest Feature Film, Grand Jury Prize, Rhode Island International Film FestivalBest Feature Film, Audience Award, San Diego Film FestivalBest Feature Film, Audience Award, Rome Gay and Lesbian Film FestivalBest Feature Film, Audience Award, Istanbul Gay and Lesbian Film FestivalBest Feature Film, Audience Award, Dallas Out Takes Lesbian and Gay Film FestivalBest Feature Film, Audience Award, Rochester Gay and Lesbian Film FestivalBest Feature Film, Audience Award, Sacramento Gay and Lesbian Film FestivalBest Gay Film, Audience Award, Phoenix International Lesbian and Gay Film FestivalBest Film of the Festival, Phoenix International Lesbian and Gay Film FestivalBest Feature Film, Honolulu Gay and Lesbian Film FestivalBest Feature Film (Male), Jury Prize, Long Island Lesbian and Gay Film FestivalBest LBGT Film Award, Breckenridge Film FestivalEmerging Film Award, North Carolina Gay and Lesbian Film FestivalFive in Focus, New Director's Spotlight Selection, Outfest Los AngelesFestival Favorite, Philadelphia International Gay and Lesbian Film FestivalAudience Favorite, Pike's Peak Lavender Film FestivalGala Presentation, Honolulu Gay and Lesbian Film FestivalCenterpiece Film, London Lesbian and Gay Film FestivalCenterpiece Film, North Carolina Gay and Lesbian Film FestivalCenterpiece Film, Fresno Reel Pride FestivalOpening Night Film, International Pink Film Festival ManilaOpening Night Film, Gay Days Orlando Film FestivalOpening Night Film, Tuscon International Lesbian and Gay Film FestivalOpening Night Film, Nashville Gay and Lesbian Film FestivalOpening Night Film, Austin International Lesbian and Gay Film FestivalOpening Night Film, Indianapolis Gay and Lesbian Film FestivalOpening Night Film, Seattle Gay and Lesbian Film Festival So what can I say about the movie itself? I love the movie but Im not blind to its flaws. Let's start with Gwen, she plays a fag hag who falls for gays who uses her to ge to her bestfriend boy toy Marc. If you're a fag hag wont you be able to figure gay from straight? or is she just stupid? Like when Kyle introduces Caleb as gay didnt it occure to her that he's straight not until he told her? Duh? A straight guy has distinct qualities that sets them apart, ok. Now Caleb was not really a disaster for me, if he was straight and he promised his friend(Kyle) that he wont have sex with Marc and only go to a date with him why allow him to be given a blowjob while having phone sex with Gwen, was it because he's turned on or was it because of the grand plan to please Gwen. Kyle and Marc had no flaws... no problem with the gay characters they were cool only with straight roles. The actors are good maybe its the writing that have some... can we say beef with? No not really overall the film was smashing, it didnt even look like a gay flick to me, it was more like a sex comedy.I heard there's a sequel. You better make a good one Q. Allan! carpe diem!!! for more infos on the movie try checking this links... 1.>http://www.gayhomes.net/rickandsteve/eatingout/index.html 2.>http://www.ariztical.com/images/eatingout/stills.htm
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

can you read my mind?

2006-07-03T03:30:00.000-05:00
Isnt he just a piece of art? I was really looking forward for the next Superman movie and was wondering Warner Bors. will start working on it. When the person to play the Man of Steel wasnt named yet, I really have nobody in mind to do it, not even Dean Cain, well he did a great job with the Lois & Clark, but it wasnt just that good enough for the big screen. Then ofcourse in due time Brandon Routh's name came in the picture and I was like.. who was it? who was playing Superman?!... I headed to the nearest PC and googled his name. There were very few pictures of him at that time, researched his name and learned that he was one hot model and very in demand in the modelling world, same patterns applied, some newbie guy get to play the Man of Steel. Only this time, the actor has to resemble the late Christopher Reeve they just had to put on contact lenses on him to fake that blue eyes. The movie itself was great the effects and it didnt bore me that they adapted the same music to give life the scenes, I really love the song "Can you read my Mind" by Maureen McGovern, but I like Lea Salonga's version better. I wasnt really psyched that the movie was coming, I was psyched right after, would you even believe it?
I enjoyed seeing familiar faces in the movie Kevin Spacey finally playing something his league, Kate Bosworth and what was her last movie, I havent seen her for a long time. What surprised me was Ben Foster and James Marsden on the film considering they just played Marvel characters, Angel and Cyclops respectively, not so long aga. If you remember Ben Foster was the Aircraft remote override ride guy on the film and James Marsden played Lois Lane rebound to Superman when he left...
Im still not over the movie and Brandon Routh really complimented and gave justice to the role. So what if he gets typecast? Christoper Reeve was proud of it, I know Brandon is to... its Superman he's being typecast with not just any role.
Another film I saw was Eating Out... directed by reknowned Filipino Director Lino Brocka's nephew Q. Allan Brocka. The movie was about a rejected Breeder, refected Gay, a bitchy Fag Hag and a Boy Toy in a wallowing and crazy fun search for true love. I almost it was some sort of shallow gay porn that turned out to be living up to the awards it reaped. Scott Lunsford really threw me off my chair with his role, he pretended to be gay just to get to Gwen who happened to have a Bi bestfriend Mark who has the hots for him. So he had to date Mark to get to Gwen. Things evened out in the end... am in no plans to tell the story.
I read about Q. Allan Brocka alot of times, he was featured in alot of magazines here and abroad and am I not so proud of him, maybe plenty of Filipinos are and will be. He does not make films the same way his uncle does, he's not in that heavy drama, I actually thinks he's more like his uncles rival, Bernal. Make me remeber the movie Pinoy Blonde, it was about two friends arguing who the better director between Lino Brocka and Bernal. Back to the nephew, Q. Allan had his own taste that he puts to the screen and its very light to watch but with depth. No wonder he reaped those awards. Am looking forward to see more.
X-Men Series the Movie: As an X-Men fan this is a Major disappointment, minus Ben Foster who played Warren Worthington. I did watch all three movies if it was a stand alone movie series, meaning not an adaptation from the comics, it'll be totally perfect. I was disappointed with the story though some the elements are retained it was just not fitting the puzzle.
Enough of movies... On July 14th I'll be on leave for the very first time. I'll be attending a party that JayR took kinda first hand to organize along with us. JayR has been part of my icky life for three years now and he was a big influencein my life. The decision I make the way I think are all affected by JayR not that he dictates on me but because... I dont know, Im was like this even before I met him. What clothes I buy, food I eat, movies to watch, the way I write, the new phone I bought. What the hell happened to me? Now I decided to lie low in his group and be like any normal person. Its having a double life when I was with JayR_online.
I was talking with my cousin a while ago. She was asking help with her phone. I wasnt really prepared to talk to her yet. She doesnt even know that I knew she told her mother. Who misinterpreted blogging to sending email. Not the daughter's fault. I was thinking "what are you really here for" and I felt she read my mind and started telling me that everybody has gone through a lot her mother and her brother. What they are right now are just products of what time made. In other words she was asking me to justify... I did, I do justify why people act the way they do... but if her mother has something, why take it out on us? I didnt tell her that. I have already let go of that... though I am still indiffirent.
Maybe time can only tell...
carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

Why Volunteer?

2006-06-24T13:21:00.000-05:00
You should volunteer instead of wasting your time being angry. Volunteer instead of ranting and raving and wasting precious time. Volunteer instead of complaining. Plus, volunteering looks good on one's resume because it makes you look like a decent human being who cares for others. There are several organizations that can cater to your interests and God given skills. 1. If you think the Metro is too dirty, join Dakila. It's with Lourd Ernest de Veyra, Tado and Ronnie Lazaro. They plan to clean Luneta and re-paint it. If your a fan of Radioactive Sago Project, now's your chance to see Lourd picking up thrash. 2. If you love kids, you can volunteer for Kythe Foundation. They are located at the ground floor of East Avenue Medical Center. It's a group that helps cancer kids cope with their disease. There's also Miggy's Corner storylling section right beside it. Training is every Saturdays. If you want to help juvenile delinquents get a better stab at life, there's several drop inn centers and halfway houses to choose from, just go to any DSWD center near you. You can also check out Laura Vicuna in Sta. Mesa, Childhope Asia, Pangarap Shelter and Hands On Manila. 3. If your into environmentalism, you can join Green Peace, Worlwide Wide Fund, PETA and Bantay Kalikasan. The first one is against pollution and other acts that destroy mother nature, the second one, World Wide Fund helps take care of animals similar to PETA but PETA's more into guarding against abuses done to animals while Bantay Kalikasan guards La Mesa dam. There's also Haribon and Manila Zoo Pet Club. 4. If your into arts, there's the Youth Artists for Empowerment. Ugat Lahi and Artists Coalition. 5. Now if you have manual dexterity (Read: carpentry, plumbing, electrical etc.), Gawad Kalinga and Habitat for Humanity needs you to help them build houses for the homeless. 6. If you love books and reading, you can join BASA Pinoy! Look for Fr. Ted Intangan, SJ at the CEFAM Building, Ateneo de Manila University. Sharing the Light project of Pathways, Alingal Hall , also in Ateneo. 7. If you have business acumen and experience, you can join Philippine Business for Social Progress. It's in Solano street in Intramuros. It's for CEOs, proprietors etc. 8. Social work, community development and NGO is your background? Then you can join several groups.....feminist groups like Gabriela, Bayan, Abanse Pinay, Hasik, etc. 9. If you want to go into education, there's Pathways for Higher Education. They help financially-challenged high school students get a good college education with their self-enhancement programs, learning resource center and academic enrichment program. Call 4266001 loc. 4046. Alingal Hall, Ateneo de Manila. 10. If you're undecided, you can try the VOICE secretariat at UP Psychology Department. Benton Hall. Look for Celia Umali 09228121924 or 09177342259. VOICE is a volunteer organization that coordinates most of the volunteer groups in the Philippines. *Petula Menggay carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

Another roll of mixed stuff...

2006-06-15T14:32:00.000-05:00
thanks to dikkie... I started to get interested with football, though I know I cant share the interest with her because she swore to the heavens and all the principalities of the air that she will never watch football games with me ever. What made her say so? Well it was me and all my outrageous ideas on things I guess. I just saying stuff that was really insane, you wouldn't want to know. So back to my interest in football... nah I'm not gonna start buying jersey and play the field, if you remember the game is just to physical for me. So it in what light does my interest tilted? Well for starters I read the profile of the teams that I saw... First stop Sweden, so 2006 is their 11th Fifa World Cup and was really notable in the past. This season their qualifying campaign was the contribution of forward Clayton Ibrahimovic, whose seven goals included a four-goal haul in the 7-0 victory in Malta and a spectacular injury-time winner in Hungary, which I didn't witness because the game I saw was good less the fact that there were goals made. I cant stop wondering what coaches Lars Lagerback and Tommy Soderbergh be thinking right now. I'm really sorry dikkie, but am still not over the game last Saturday and still cant get the whole jersey switching after the game, especially the part when after switching there jersey the have to wear the sweaty switched jersey... unhygienic I have to say... ewww. let's talk more about dikkie then, I met dikkie when I was at a need of friend. This was the time when my best bud and I lost contact with each other, even friendster and chikka wasn't able to bridge us. This was also the same time JayR was launching his second album. The stars were aligned was when we met, she was a Libra and I a Gemini... A perfect meeting of air signs, though we lacked an Aquarius it was still click. I'm glad to have clicked with her right away because the usual initial impression with me is a closed minded snob. Tell you what yes I'm a snob... lols. But its easy to get through me. As long as you can communicate we'll be fine. So there she communicated well and was very broad minded that is why it worked. I have met a lot of people that I thought were open minded and understanding that turned out to be shallow and be pieces of shit... dikkie wasn't. She is one of the very few person I can asked for definitions and knew what I meant by things. The thing with me is... Plenty misinterpret me for what I say, thinking there something else, always trying to read between the lines when there isn't really. I'm telling you just take me for what I saw... I do not intent the undertones you notice or think is there... puhleeeze cut me a slack. Am I so full of myself. ok so we are talking about dikkie, right? Well there we didn't super close by day one but we did get closer. Number she's smart, God fearing and was always a ready ear and hand for that matter. I have learned a lot from her and I hope she learned something significant from me.
I have been writing a lot this pas few weeks, I'm updating my blogs journals and I just keep on writing on every paper I get my hands to. I just do everything in writing instead of saying my mind. I was so aggravated this past few days and instead of raising hell I just wrote everything. I am not really full of negative energy, I am so full of mixed emotion and there is just this avalanche of thoughts that rushes in my mind that I can handle it I'm going to burst. I don't even know where to start I get so worked up with almost everything. I'd love to give a detailed prose on it but I don't see the point. Yes, I love blogging but I don't give away myself to much, some think I do. My most private thoughts are still kept in my trusted diary. There are times thought that I deprive my very own diary of myself. There are thing that I rather keep to myself, on second thought there's tons of it.
My parents disagrees with things from A-Z, from the pettiest to the most stupid stuff, yes nothing really big. One thing they agreed upon though was when they told me to learn how to left faults pass. I take it too much if I feel that I was wronged. I dwell on it silently and I always take on them which they understand. Believe me if you wronged me I totally cool it in front of you but you wouldn't know how I seethe in aggravation. My father told to always let it pass and to never let it affect me. Why would I even stress myself? Well we know a person who raises shit out of hell the moment she opens here eyes... She 's totally sick. My mom has different approach, she told me to loosen up and let go and to learn how to justify people for their actions. To consider that factor why one acts the way they are. It may sound like my parents are slow to anger, think again they aren't but they know when to open their mouths. A feat I still need to master.
I'm thin but I eat like a pig... With manners. Duh? Doesn't connect. I love eating and it's not obvious. Food is one of the things I spent most of my money with. I am not the shopper kind, when I go out I eat or get a massage. I so hate discomfort the way I love pampering. I can find an easier way on things I will. Look, I want to type more but I'm sleepy and my I'm tired of typing... I'll continue this next time.
here's the continuation... 06172006
"love can pass away... But we can always run after it, and chase it back!". No its not about me its the last line from Formula17 its a Chinese movie that I watch last Saturday . The movie was subtitled and I was intently read the translations word per word and I was just so aghast with the translations, the dialogue was kinda intense to me and the story line was funny but with depth. Another movie I saw the same night was Luster, pick-up line? "...Here I am, I'm all yours!" this movie fascinated me not for the star but for a supporting character who was very interested with philosophy used to be like her just can't stop philosophizing well now in not like that anymore. I'm not in the mood though to tell the story of either the 2 movies. The third movie I watch was kill bill vol.1 that I saw tons of times... My favorite line was not a dialogue its the proverb at the beginning of the movie. "revenge is a dish served cold." and that concludes my movie marathon.
carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

a feeling that never leaves...

2006-06-15T03:52:00.001-05:00
alright i know that i said previously that ill stop sulking over love and all it has brought me. bear with me on this, its different. for some reason i stayed in the office 2 hours after my shift, i really had nothing to do and when i finally went out of the building im glad to know i stayed, because the rain was just so bad and i hate getting soaked even if im just headed home. so there i started walking my usual route home and i saw a familiar face in a white shirt and slack. this person was slightly with highlights and some weight gained. the person's face was smiling and i believe the person mouthed my name as i passed by where this familiar person is standing. common friends were around and i saw them ofcourse they were all smiling. but the only thing on my eyes was this very person and not seeing him for the longest time it was a different sight. i was so dumbfounded, i didnt know what i was doing, did i smile? did i wave back? i can not do with the fact that whatever i do this person will always have an effect on me. unlike before though that it pains me to even look even if there is so much love in my heart and seething longing, this time it was like enlightening to see that this person is happy. i was just so happy but there was no expression in me. it occured to me that yes around that time this person hangs out there for coffee and well, unlike before that i was i always anxious to even strut there because i know that the hang out place. this morning was different i was dang clueless. and there it was my first love... who never fails to give me that look that really gets me flustered. my first love... the smile was like morining sunshine... like vapor on trees and flowers in springtime. it will never leave... what you gave me is a fire that burns forever. you'll be in my heart. carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

mixed stuff...

2006-06-10T15:25:00.001-05:00
lately i feel so inspired, moved, motivated, wronged and stupid. inspired because i have a team leader who believes in me and a group of people who thinks im talented and tells me im a good person and that i can be somebody. i feel moved because i am starting to realize that there are good things i can to and that there are people who counts on me. i am also motivated and this is the first time that i took my capabilities seriously, it occured to me that yes i am talented, i can be helpful and i have some fire on my sleeve and that i can go center stage rather than being the old me being in the backstage. i also feel wronged because after all of the good things i felt i forgot that there is always something opposite to it... the balance. not everybody will say good stuff about you and its natural, its a fact that a person has flaws, i admit i have faults to owe up to. that makes me feel stupid to even forget that. the recent events are just so mixed up, i have something good going at work its fun, i have alot of friends who i think are very much up my league. plenty of my colleagues are of the same wavelength and doesnt think my language is foul, offensive or very undertonish. bottomline it a great work place! at the same time i am so bothered with this group that im with because i feel that i am being flagged for everything, the way i write, speak, think i guess... err not that everybody is like burning or giving me a hard time... is it just me, i was just told earlier that the world dont revolve on me, is that the reason im ranting? lols, just got home from watching a football game with dikkie, fifa world cup i loved it. i didnt get to watch the first game, but i pretty much enjoyed Sweden vs. Trinidad and Tobago. I applaud T&T for proving themselves worthy of the competition, being on the Fifa for the first time they proved veteran teams like Sweden that they really prove something. the defense was really good, it was an intense game very physical, and a little frustrating that nobody goaled. yeah sucks right, it was great game. Sweden should really feel bad its like they have not learned from experience or maybe T&T was just as good. hmm... have i been complacent? yes i have... complacent at work? yes... uhh well i just lost it thats why i was being motivated again. i have to pull my thing together. complacent with family... definetely, i just was so tactless that even my blog gave me away and things fell apart, needs fixing just alot of things that just make you wanna scream. complacent with friends... i felt like i have forgotten how some of my friends sees the good in people and i kick their sandcastle, i know thats awful and im sorry for that. with jayronline... yeah i think, i totally forgot that things are not always the same and i falied to test the current. am i just indifferent? thats what my brother says i am thats why i get in alot of trouble... though friends say im warm.. duh? what am i really? i always heard, was told that things will be fine with whatever of endeavor you take as long as you be yourself and have confidence with yourself what you got. but sometimes its not the case. you be yourself and suddenly its a big mistake. maybe because you're misunderstood and maybe because you suck. sometimes being different is wrong, sometimes its cool. sometimes not being against the tide is wrong. you'll have to consider alot of things in life and most of the time you just do it without even considering why you eveh have to consider. there's alot of things i wanna say but i think i have to control myself. i spill the beans to much but at the same time i dont do it. haaah... carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

forever charmed

2006-06-08T10:26:00.000-05:00
i was always a charmed a fan... for the full eight year duration on tv i was a religious follower. i was happy on how its concluding but im also sad that it has to end now. eight dang years was not very long for a viewer and fan... but the that lenght of time was such a great achievement. i consider it to be one the best shows that was ever created. Charmed follows the story of the Halliwell sisters, the charmed ones that posseses the power of three, who work to vanquish evil and save innocents while trying to live normal lives. i can still remember how it all started... first were ads and pics of shannen doherty, holly marie combs and lori rom, playing prue, piper and phoebe. being a shannen fan i was excited to see her in again after beverly hills. i didnt really care who she was with. the story also interest me i love story lines with magic anything different from the reality something to breathe on. so there there were three beautiful sisters who happens to be witches and turns out to be the most powerful force of good... the charmed ones. lori rom didnt get to be seen on the tube, she quitted right after they shot the season premiere... then came alyssa milanno, who i think blended well with shanned and holly marie and even better... so they were prue, piper and phoebe. their presentation was very humane, how they showed that this are person that also through alot in life like other mortals lurking the earth, the sisters did have personal lives and issues to deal with... other problems, obligations anything a normal person deals with...and ofcourse not so normal stuff. as witches it wasnt all magic there are still some ass kicking martial arts. season four prue died... i was shattered, my favorite actress in charmed left the show... though my favorite powers was with phoebe... so there shannen left the show and this changed where the story was headed and they have to make reinforcements. then came season five also came rose mcgowan taking the role of paige the long lost fourth sister reinstating the power of three as now the new third sister... that's the start of them being really powerful and magic becoming the prime focus. i was glad that piper had to bear a son, though i missed them with the martial arts. my favorite season was season 6... i was fascinated with drew fuller who first came towards the end of season 5 as chris perry a whitelighter from the future taking leo's place as their whitelighter, since he's taking an elder post. chris came with alot of spunk and attitude i was really intrigued of his character more than what wyatt will turn out to be or even with billie and christy. all the supporting cast that and artist were notable. briane krause as leo, julian mcmahon whom i admire for his consistency with antihero roles. many others who guested in the show were enjoying even kaley cuoco. ofcourse credit also extends to Ivan Sergei and Victor Webster who plays Henry and Coop respectively and love interest to Paige and Phobe. the excitementi feel every week will never be replaced when watching charmed the show has given me more than enjoyment, it also was a way a way for me to exhale... i will truly miss charmed... from the power of three will set us free to the search of vanquishing the source and hunting the demon triad and destroying the ultimate power... and being part of the laughter, the panic, tears, fears and discovering love and cherising life... blessed be... carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

Pinoy Hip-Hop needs reinvention...

2006-05-28T01:44:00.000-05:00
It's high time Pinoy Hip Hop gets a makeover. It needs reinvention. Enough of the baggy jeans, reverse bull caps, fake blings, booty sluts, gansterism and inane rap. More of collaboration, more respect, more experimentation, more expression.. it's time Manila experience what hip hip is really about. What I don't get is while Hip Hop and RnB is big abroad as seen in the success of such acts as 2 Phat (Asia) and Black Eyed Peas (U.S.) and of course, there's Kanye West, JayZ, Jamie Foxx, Usher, Nelly, the list goes on and on but here in Manila, hip hop is barely surviving. I know there are efforts from Empire Entertainment with H-Town and his crew producing the annual Hip Hop Awards and of course, our very own group, DMC Philippines to resuscitate hip hop and bring it back to its glorious days but I guess it isn't enough. Audiences do not really understand hip hop and are not exposed to its many interesting facets. Maybe, they need to see more fascinating ryhmes rather than tired old ones that begin with Yo-Yo, and ends with Give-it Up. Maybe, they need to hear funkier beats, awesome lyrics and dance-worthy groove. Maybe Tagalog is really a difficult language to use for rapping. Maybe, record producers should give talented hip hops acts more mileage. Maybe, we should see a Pinoy Dj win in the World DJ Mixing Championship. Maybe, hip hop acts should stop imitating their foreign counterparts and come up with their own style. Maybe, we need our own JayZ, 2Pac, the closest we have is Francism, AndrewE, Mastaplann, 7shots... Maybe, we need another Pinoy Hip Hop hit. Maybe, we need another hot new act and I'm not talking about Gloc 9 or Dice & K9. Or Krook & Jolo or Pikaso or Mike Swift, Arbie Won, etc. I mean a hot new act that actually produce platinum albums the kind that people actually buy in droves. RnB not doing too bad. JayR, Kyla's career are doing fine with projects left and right. People flock to their concerts and they actually have fans. But hip hop... I still have to rehearse over and over again what I say to my friends about what turntabulism is, what graffiti means, and b-boying is all about. Admit it, it hasn't gone mainstream. Some hip hop afficionados argue that it should remain underground but if Hip hop's underground, how can it adequately express itself? How can it grow and thrive? I still have to see a Fade 2 Black-like concert mounted. I still have to hear another album that could rival FrancisM's 1st one or see an act that can eclipse Mastaplann in popularity. I hope the entire hip hop community realizes the urgent need to revitalize the scene. There is really a challenge for Pinoy Hip Hop to reinvent itself from its old boring self to a dynamic new one. * from Petula Menggay... carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü

knowing oneself

2006-05-23T14:29:00.000-05:00
what do you tell people when they ask you who you are? what are your referencing in to introduce yourself and let yourself be know. one cannot define himself by the attributes the senses dictate. do you say, i am an american, i am british... i am a filipino, my parents are this and that. i remember one person telling me that i she know a very big secret to my identity and that threatens everything i know about myself, reason for me to not be close to my mother, but later reassured that im blood related. did it matter to me? no! whether im my mother's son or not it doesnt change anyhting... i am secure though that i am the son of my mother. regardless, i will always be thankful because she and father took me in and gave me shelter and a basic identity. knowing oneself is more than what the senses tell you not even your habits define you. knowing ones nature and duty is what tells you who you are one should be secure of that fact. ones nature is to achieve his duty and ones duty is act according to what his nature is. this world has been very busy gratifying the senses that they are drenched into material happiness. to know the human self is just the start, one should also know what animates the body... the soul. every person have spirits and the spirit also needs gratification. the spirit is one person essence and the soul is which animates the body. this all together define man. the simplest element that make one exist. to know oneself then is to achieve ones duty by living according to its nature which gratifying the soul. existing by not being engrossed to wordly needs but being higher conciousness on life where one can live depending on their basic element. and what gratifies the soul? it when you are one with the one supreme soul, the animating energy which the intermost cosmic being to whence everything came from. when you are again one with your maker even in your physical existence then you are at peace. i was once told to be at peace with myself... what is being peace with oneself. there plenty of people who competes with themselves, many have angst and are drenched in frustration, how they achieve peace? i can only say that they have to loosen up and achieve tranquility by reaching to roots of their disturbance and get a way around it. others would advice these people to get a life... yes ofcourse, in what respect? is getting a life verring away from things that you used to do and then again indulge oneself self-gratification? when you satiate the needs of the body does that make you happy, it does but not very long you are empty. i think if one can only be secure with himself and knows how to go the roots of all his miseries and learn to eliminate the caused then he'll be fine. when you are at peace because you know are one with your maker and you show the values of one that has achieved spiritual existence in a material setting then you have conformed on the tenets of knowing who you are. what do you tell people then when they ask you who are? one would just usually state their name... i do think that's enough... carpe diem!!!
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else... Blessed be... ü